Monthly Archives: May 2008

Justice League of America Haiku Riddles

Test your comic book IQ!  

See if you can figure out which haiku describes which superhero.  The answers are at the bottom.

1

Fish man swims quickly

Telepathy controls fish

King of Atlantis

2

In atom sized world

Atomic shrinking smart man

In atom world, big

3

Batarang flying

Dark knight prowling silently

The streets are safe now!

4

The man can stretch, wow!

Wiggling nose means mystery

His wife is so smart!

5

Super fast hero

Lightning + chemicals, speed!

Good guy, short blond hair

6

Deadly green bowman

Skilled, tough, martial artist

Has a son, his heir

7

Green ring glowing bright

Will power universal

Evil doers beware

8

Giant flapping wings

Feathered bird faced mask

Ancient mace in hand

9

Wise green man from Mars

Telepathic Superman clone?

Fire makes him scream

10

Super man, swoosh, bam, pow

A blur of red cape, blue tights

Green Kryptonite glows

11

Shiny Tiara

Large breasts in golden eagles!

Golden lasso of truth

Key

1-Aquaman

2-Atom

3-Batman

4-Elongated Man

5-Flash

6-Green Arrow

7-Green Lantern

8-Hawkman

9-Martian Manhunter

10-Superman

11-Wonder Woman

 Reference

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_league_of_america#Silver_and_Bronze_Age_.2F_Justice_League_of_America

WereVerse Universe Baby!

Advertisements

Batman Haiku

Batarang flying

Dark knight prowling silently

The streets are safe now!

WereVerse Universe Baby!

Numerology Wars: 22 vs. 23, Part 1

The number 22 was in the number kingdom doing what he had always done singing his favorite song.

22: I am the master number, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am the master number, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am the master number…

 

Suddenly infinity, the king of the numbers, appeared!

 

22: Your majesty to what do I owe this honor?

¥: I have some bad news.

22: I am a number and beyond good and evil and therefore good and bad news. 

 

22 chuckled to himself since he had been waiting millennia to say that line.

 

¥: Another number threatens to replace you as the “spiritual master in form” number.

22: That’s impossible I am the number between idea and form that allows ideas to take on form without me the material world could not exist and ideas without substance aren’t very relevant.  This has been my function since the time before time!

¥: Yeah, that’s true but to some extent your fundamental being is affected by the ideas that mortals have and they are thinking of another number as taking on your role so you might be supplanted and become just another number in the infinity of numbers.  Hey, we’ve been friends since the time before time and I just thought I would warn you.

22: Who is this upstart that attempts to replace me as the master builder!

¥: What do you know about the number 23?

22: Just the usual, there is some sort of 23 enigma but I am not an enigma.  I am the Master Builder!

¥: Well there was this movie and it kind of suggested all events are controlled by the number 23 and since the relation between idea and event is a type of then that covers your territory.

22: One movie!  Who cares.

¥: there is also a TV show called Lost that just everyone is watching and that show keeps on plugging 23.  You need to get out there and let people know you are still the number one idea/form guy!  Shake some hands!  Kiss some babies!  Beat 23 at his own game.

22: Get out there, what are you talking about I am a number and can only exist in number land as a sentient number once I enter the world of form I become just another number without personal identity and a new 22 essence takes my place. 

¥: But where there is a will there is a way.  As a number you can inspire someone to take on your case and get it out there.  I have this one crazy blogger in mind.  He’s just the sort of guy for this assignment.

 

Well readers there you have it.  The number 22 talked to me in my dreams and needs your help and frankly I need your help!  How can I convince the world that the number 22 is more important than the number 23 in numerology?  Comments are most welcome!

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/22_%28number%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23_Enigma

WereVerse Universe Baby!

What if? Date 4: Carrie of “Sex and the City” dates Frasier.

Carrie has had her first book published and is so excited.  Carries publisher calls her and tells her that based on their research her largest fan base outside of New York in the US is Seattle.  They want her to do a book tour to Seattle all expenses paid!  Carrie has never been to Seattle.

 

After the disastrous train ride to California with Samantha, Carrie isn’t sure she wants to do any more book tours.  The date with Mr. Big in California worked out in the end but made her rethink her relationships.  Carrie has vowed the next man will be one who is in touch with his emotion and can talk about them rather than emotionally unreachable like Mr. Big.  Anyway, Carrie has watched Sleepless and Seattle at least four times and wonders what like the actual city is like.

 

Carrie learned her lesson after the train ride to California and travel in style on an airplane.  She arrives late at night.  The alarm rings and she gets ready.  A local agent drives her to the bookstore.  Unlike her book signing in California there are tons of young gals in what she thinks is Goth or grunge or some combination of the two styles.  Not a pair of Prada shoes in the bunch.  She’s sees more tattoos in four hours in the bookstore than in a week in New York and wonders if maybe she’s old fashioned and if a small tattoo placed tastefully were no one can see it might be fun but then wonder if the process is painful and decides that she is not a tattoo sort of gal.

 

A tall man with a square face and blond hair in a perfect Brook Brothers suit sits down to get his book signed.  She can’t help notice that he is extremely well groomed compared to all the grungy, bearded, mustachioed men that have approached before.  She was wondering if a black T-shirt with a flannel shirt was some sort of Seattle uniform.  When he pulls out a Mont Blanc pen she perks up a bit.  When the Mont Blanc pen turns out to be a fountain pen she is a bit surprised.  He puts out his hand confidently to shaker hers and introduces himself as Frasier.

 

Carrie: I can’t help but notice that is a fountain pen.  I didn’t know anyone still used fountain pens.

Frasier: Normally I don’t but I think a book signing is a special event and deserves a special pen. This is my book signing pen.  The pen itself is part of a special limited edition set.  Notice the azure finish that offsets the silver trim, that’s real silver by the way.

Frasier raises his pen to his eyes and looks at the finish and then at her eyes.

Frasier: Actually you have azure eyes yourself.  Azure is my favorite color and I don’t think I have ever met a women with eyes quite the color of yours, not to mention the rest of you is quite fetching.

 

Carrie is taken aback and pleased at the same time.  Unless they are gay, Carries experience is that most men don’t know the difference between blue and azure.  She briefly wonders if Frasier is gay but no he is definitely flirting with her.  After having spent time in California with a man that was sparing in his praise of her, this Frasier fellow is a welcome change.  She reflects a bit and decides its not the praise itself but how Frasier says the praise in a sincere genuine, warm tone rather than the ironic, kidding tone, Mr. Big half uses 24/7 that she used to find endearing but she suddenly realizes now irritates her even as she reflects on Mr. Big’s voice. 

 

Sometimes when Big raises his eyebrows in a Groucho Marx manner, with his trademark sexy smile, Carrie just wants to slap him since this assumes a familiarity he has betrayed and the worst part is that he doesn’t he even know what he has done to her by moving to California.

Carrie thinks: Why is it those habits we first loved in our loved one, in the long run become those things we hate the most?  Are we doomed to hate what we used to love?

Frasier: You know I am a giant fan of yours I think your insight into relationships while humorous and also quite deep.  I have thought of writing a review of your book from a psychological point for the next Seattle conference of marriage counselors and psychologists.

Carrie: You are a psychologist?  You dress and act more like someone in another profession.

Frasier: And what profession would that be?

Carrie: I don’t know but when I think psychiatrist I think Freud and when I think Freud I think beard and you are in the city with more men with beards per capita than anywhere but a lumber jack camp.

Frasier: Well actually in Seattle the civilians wear beards and the psychiatrists don’t in order to stand out. 

Carrie: Well in New York a psychiatrist has to wear ratty tweed jacket or something else that shows you have poor fashion sense.

Frasier: Hmm, you must have met my first wife.

Carrie: What?

Frasier: Nothing, nothing, let’s not spoil our festive introduction with memories of bitter vicissitudes of the past.  Look here’s my card.  Why don’t we get together tonight for a drink, consider me the President of the Carrie Bradshaw club, the Seattle chapter.

Carrie: Well President, Carrie Bradshaw wants to make a spot inspection and see if the fan club if following the national regulations.

Frasier: What regulations are those?

Carrie: That’s for me to know and for you to find out.

Frasier: A woman of both mystery and beauty quiet my beating heart.

 

The two arrange to meet at the lobby of her hotel later in the evening.  Carrie gets ready for the date.   Is it a date? She wonders?  She also wonders what dating a psychiatrist will be like.  Her Seattle contact from the publishing company recognized the name on his card instantly and said Frasier was a bit of a local celebrity because of his radio talk show.  Well she wanted a man who was emotionally available and could talk about his emotions, and certainly a psychologist fits these criteria, if anyone does.

 

Frasier walks her to a new restaurant that is about two blocks away from the hotel.

 

Frasier: The restaurant is a new French/Japanese fusion restaurant called Michaud’s.  Apparently the Chef has a mother from Montreal and a father from Japan that had met in Seoul where he grew up.  The father cooked on the weekends and the mother cooked during the week so he grew up trilingual, French, Japanese and Korean and biculinary, French and Japanese.

Carrie: Biculinary?  Is that legal?  Man that sounds like one National Geographic personal history.

Frasier: No kidding, I guess if you don’t have parents from at least two countries and are raised in a third country then you are hopelessly provincial.  I once met this Peruvian American at Gifted and Talented summer camp at Michigan State University when I was in Middle School and back then he was the height of exoticism but I guess nowadays he’s practically a WASP.  Well anyway, he does this lovely set of sushi dishes that include a truffle garnish, pâté and a Frenchified soy sauce that is to die for.

Carrie: How do you Frenchify soy sauce?

Frasier: Apparently you read the bottles of soy sauce Sartre in order to make them more cultured. 

Carrie:  You know I once tried to read Being and Nothingness and didn’t get it at all.

Frasier: The key to understanding Being and Nothingness is that it’s a lot of BS about nothing.

Carrie thinks: Wow! Funny and intellectual!  Carry is very impressed by the dinner and thinks that maybe New York is not the only city in the world with great, cutting edge restaurants.  Frasier’s phone rings and as soon as Frasier hears the voice on the other end his face drops and he is visibly upset.

 

Frasier: Dad why are you calling me?  I told you I was on a date and didn’t want to be disturbed.  Eddie is sick?  This is supposed to be a bad thing?  No, no I’m sorry that’s uncalled for.  Well what am I supposed to do?  I am not a vet.  You think it’s a psychological problem?  Have you tried calling Niles?  No luck, hmmm, I see ok I will see what I can do.

Carrie: What’s wrong?

Frasier: my father thinks Eddie, his dog, is suffering from psychological shock due to a TV show.

Carrie: What sort of show causes psychological shock to dogs?

Frasier: Well aside from I Love New York the TV show, not the campaign, that causes anyone with an IQ of over 60 shock, and Eddie has an IQ of 62, there was cartoon special titled “Hello Kitty vs. Snoopy” and apparently Snoopy lost.  Eddie identifies strongly with Snoopy..

Carrie: But I Love New York.  Dogs don’t watch TV.  Are you sure Eddie is a dog and not some figment of your imagination?

Frasier: Oh I wish Eddie was a figment of my imagination but I am afraid he is all too real.  Look I hate to cut our date short but I need to get home and help my father out.  I don’t see how I can help since I am not a licensed dog psychiatrist.  Who knows what sort of squirrels and gerbils are running around the brain of a canine?

Carrie: I have an idea why don’t I come over and help you out.  I have some experience with a dog called Petey and if I can handle a dog with diarrhea in the middle of Manhattan then I certainly can help you with a dog with mere mental problems.

Frasier: Are you sure my father is very…let’s just say, we are very different.

Carrie: Different?

Frasier: Dr Jekyll was a soul mate of Mr. Hyde compared to me and my father.  Bruce Banner is practically a doppelganger of the Hulk compared to me and my father.

Carrie thinks: Who the heck is Bruce Banner but keeps her mouth shut since her affair with comic book guy taught her to never, ever ask guys about comic books since they might actually answer your question.

Carrie:  I am sure you are exaggerating.

 

Secretly Carrie welcomes this opportunity to see Frasier in his home environment and also wants to see how he handles an emergency even if the emergency is a rather lame one.  In the past she has wasted time on endless dates before finding out that the man she was dating had some secret or oddity that made the relationship impossible.

 

Carrie thinks: Get right to the house on the first date and start opening up those closets right away!  That’s my new philosophy.

 

STAY TUNED FOR:

 

What if? Date 5: Carrie of “Sex and the City” dates Frasier.

-Carrie meets, Frasier’s father, Martin!

-Carrie meets Eddie!

-Carrie meets Niles!

-Carrie meets Daphne!

-And Carrie meets a surprise guest that will leave you speechless!

 

Remember anything is possible on the “What if” channel.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

 

Hello Kitty vs. Snoopy

 

Dissociative Identity Disorder?

The cutest toon of the land of the rising sun squares of with the cutest toon of the land of stars and stripes.  Does this mean Japanese identify with cats and Americans identify with dogs? 

 

Why are they fighting?  Cats and dogs fight!  We even have an idiom along those lines.  They even had a movie called “Cats and Dogs” which I think was probably biased towards the canines.  I like both dogs and cats by the way.  Hello Kitty has one giant disadvantage in any fight, she has no mouth much less teeth.  Hello Kitty (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello_kitty) has come from a relatively privileged background, been raised by her own kind, allowed to wear clothes and even as a kitty of her own.

Snoopy has a mouth and has threatened to bite so one assume he must have this ability.  Hello Kitty is a girl though and might tell Snoopy that gentlemen don’t bite girls.  However, Snoopy has been living in a dog house and is rarely seen in the dog house suggesting the interior is uncomfortable.  Snoopy was kidnapped by humans at an early age and seems to suffer from some version of the Stockholm Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndromeI) and Snoopy acts like a human.  In addition, Snoopy’s original Stockholm syndrome has developed into a full blown Dissociative Identity Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder), probably caused by being abducted at an early age from the Daisy Hill puppy farm. Living in squalid living conditions outdoors seemed to have shattered Snoopy’s fragile psyche.  Snoopy has taken on multiple personas such as being Joe Cool and a flying ace as well as being many other animals.  Subjects with this disorder have many psychological problems but are generally not violent.  Snoopy realizes he cannot bite a girl, even a cat girl and the conflict is a draw. 

WereVerse Universe Baby!

DC vs. Valiant Universe 5: Eternal Warrior vs. Batman

The Eternal Warrior (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Warrior) is an immortal and DC has its version of an immortal warrior called appropriately the Immortal Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immortal_Man).  The problem is that Immortal Man was a third rate super hero that even die hard DC fans often forget.  You don’t pit third raters against Olympians.

 

The Eternal Warrior is an immortal but above all else is the foremost martial arts hero of the Valiant Universe.  The foremost martial arts hero of the DC universe is Batman.  After having kicked his brother’s butt (https://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/dc-vs-valiant-universe-1-archer-armstrong-vs-batman-robin/), the Eternal Warrior is ready for a fight with Batman.  Also, Batman and the Eternal Warrior are both strategic fighters so expect a lot of attacks and retreats and counter attacks.  Traps using the local terrain can be expected from both sides. 

 

Batman has his utility belt and a lot more toys.  The Eternal Warrior has just one toy and that is a leather jacket that has studs on one side for offense and metal plates on the other side for defense.  I like the jacket so much I got an imitation made in Thailand.  Let’s hope I never have to use it.  The Eternal Warrior is a master of every weapon and martial art of the last three thousand plus years. He does not carry toys because he has outgrown the need for them as would Batman if he was thousands of years old.  Batman once turned down a Green Lantern power ring in the Justice League International because he said it would slow him down.  The Eternal Warrior has carried this minimalism to the next level. 

 

Batman throws a batarang at the Eternal Warrior.  The Eternal warrior grabs a book from the pocket of his jacket and uses the book as a shield.  The Eternal Warrior then moves in on Batman and hits him repeatedly with the book until Batman is knocked out.  The Eternal Warrior had seen the Bourne Supremacy at a movie theater last week and like what he saw and has been itching for a chance to use those moves.  The Eternal Warrior is an old dog who can learn new tricks.  The Eternal Warrior wins because he knows what Batman is thinking and then some.

 

 

WereVerse Universe Baby!

DC vs. Valiant Universe 4: Dr. Mirage vs. Wildfire

Clash of the weirdo energy super heroes!  Dr. Mirage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Life_of_Dr._Mirage) is made up of necromantic energy.  As I have stated in prior posts, the Valiant universe is more positivistic than the DC universe and basically Dr. Mirage is a ghost with a pseudo science explanation that is a little better than the one provided by Ghostbusters but not by much. 

 

In this version of science, Ghosts are made up of type of energy and all the energy logic we have in natural science applies to ghost energy variously called etheric, psychic or astral energy.  For the record, most traditional physicists hate this kind of New Age energy logic but what do they know?

 

Wildstorm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wildfire_(comics)) is made up of antimatter energy, technically an exotic rather than weirdo energy.  DC has a plethora of beings made up of pure energy but most of them are made up of electricity which is a pretty mundane energy than an exotic/weirdo energy like antimatter.  How many electrical devices do you have in your house?  Plenty but unless you are an alien I doubt you have any devices powered by antimatter much less necromantic energy.  Even Superman went the electrical energy being route briefly (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman_Red). 

 

There are also beings made up of nuclear energy such as Firestorm and Valiant’s own Dr. Solar.  Nuclear energy beings are not as common as electrical energy beings but still more common than beings of stuff like necromantic energy or antimatter energy.  Anyway, the electricity in your house may ultimately be from nuclear energy making this type of energy mundane.

 

Wildstorm isn’t the only DC weirdo energy being.  Negative Man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_Man) has a negative energy being inside of his regular body, host body, technically.  Negative energy fills the weirdo energy part since like necromantic energy I have no idea what negative energy really is but he isn’t a being of pure energy like Dr. Mirage and the Negative energy being can only exist for 60 seconds making him no match for Dr. Mirage. 

 

Being made of pure energy has many advantages regardless of if the energy is mundane, exotic or weird.  You don’t need to go to the bathroom, eat, sleep or even need oxygen and you are probably immortal but generally you don’t have a sex life either and that bother’s the like of Wildstorm.  The best of both worlds is being able to switch back and forth from having a regular body to having an energy body so you can have sex at home but turn into pure energy when needed as a crime fighter and some lucky DC beings can do this. 

 

Dr. Mirage blasts Wildstorm with necromantic energy and nothing happens.  Wildstorm blasts Dr. Mirage with anti-matter energy and nothing happens.  Turns out the two weirdo energies have no affect on each other whatsoever.  This is clearly explained in chapter 13 of the weirdo physics book but I guess these guys dont have that book.  Go ahead and ask your local high school teacher “what happens when you mix antimatter energy with necromantic energy?” and see what sort of answer you get.  This blog is becoming more and more popular so this situation may very well happen and I apologize to high school physics teachers all over the world ahead of time.  After an hour of this they get bored and decide to call it a draw and discuss what it’s like to be a being of pure energy or not.

 

My other website at:

Fox Superpower List

WereVerse Universe Baby!