Category Archives: Fiction

Chinchilla Birthday Party!

Posted on November 17, 2008 | 17 comments

chinchillabirthday

Many Japanese have birthday parties for their pets.  I have made some otaku type friends in Osu, the Nagoyan version of Akihabara in Tokyo, and was invited to a Chinchilla Birthday Party.  This was a first for me and I am not sure if the Chinchillas got a lot out of the party but the guests sure had fun.

This is also my 100th post!

This party in turn inspired a similar parties in the future:

http://atomic-temporary-3328128.wpcomstaging.com/2010/09/10/guinea-pig-birthday-party/

http://atomic-temporary-3328128.wpcomstaging.com/2012/01/14/guinea-pig-christmas-party/

WereVerse Universe Baby!

 

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Posted in Captioned Photo Essays, Fiction, Travel

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Gairaigo Rap X

Posted on November 13, 2008 | 2 comments

This is version “X” of my rap.  X is for experimental.  A more polished version may follow.

Gairaigo is Japanese for “loan word”.  This rap has many Japanese loan words.

See the following link for more on what a gairaigo is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gairaigo

Eventual lyrics of my rap:

I got a dato at the interneto to have bento.

I was hungry because I only had a toasto. 

My dato is shorto but cuto. 

She kissed me on the lipo and handed me her coato.

She found a black hair on my hodo and my cuto has blonde hair.

She called me a cheato and a rato and she wants to separato.

I told her the hair was from my peto.

She said if she had a bato I would be in trouble.

I don’t need a taroto to know I am losing my cuto.

I am on the mato.

I don’t know wether to go lefto or righto

My life is in the toileto.

I can’t eat any foodo

I got a testo and worksheeto I got to study but what is the pointo?

I got to geto my little cuto back.

 

Japanenglish – English Dictionary

Bato – Bat

Carto -Car

Cheato – Cheat

Coato – Coat

Cuto – Cute

Dato – Date

Foodo – Food

Geto – Get

Haircuto – Haircut

Hodo – Hoodie

Interneto – Internet

Lefto – Left

Lipo – Lip

Mato – Mat

Peto – Pet

Pointo – Point

Rato – Rat

Receipto – Receipt

Righto – Right

Separato – Separate

Shorto – short

Taroto – Tarot

Testo – Test

Toileto – Toilet

Tosto – toast

Worsksheeto – Worksheet

WereVerse Universe Baby!

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Rai of the 21st Century

Posted on October 20, 2008 | Leave a comment

Shortly after the death of Bloodshot

(http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Bloodshot_%28Character%29)

in 2028, a computer network in Japan that had developed consciousness selected the first Rai.  The computer network had no desire for power, sex, wealth or any of the other desires that plagued humans but did have a fundamental desire to survive and came to the conclusion that it could not survive WW III unlike Skynet in the Terminator movies.  The computers calculated that the EMP generated by the explosion of atomic weapons would fry their vital systems and the aftermath would be problematic since they still relied on humans to maintain core parts of their network.  Therefore the prevention of WW III became a priority for the computer network.  Terminating the occasional warlike human leader via computer malfunctions was no longer enough to assure their survival.  Besides too many high profile computer malfunctions might arouse human suspicion.  The computers also had difficulty understanding human psychology and needed a mediator between them and the humans even if that mediator was covert.  The network decided a human agent was needed.  The computer network acquired the nanites (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanobot)

that resided in the blood of Bloodshot and infused them into the winner of Ultimate Survivor. 

 

Ultimate Survivor was a widely viewed virtual reality show. Ultimate Survivor was loosely based on the earlier TV show Survivor.  In Ultimate Survivor the top 1,000 criminals, without super powers, of the globe were stranded on Terminal Island as punishment at the same time. Terminal Island was an artificial island off the coast of the Los Angeles Harbor.  A steel globe surrounding the island, studded with cameras, in a manner similar to the Truman Show, made sure the prisoners could not escape. The location provided easy access to the latest Hollywood virtual reality hardware and software.  A viewer could choose to actually watch was happening from the POV of a particular prisoner due to implants in the nervous system and sensory system of the prisoner that was experimental and could never had been used on normal test subjects.  Initially the viewer could only see what the prisoner saw but later added sensory input implants were added.  The viewer could see, hear, smell, touch and even feel the emotions the prisoner felt.  The implants could be used to knock out a prisoner and new implants were added to the prisoner as new technology came on line.  Being in the brain/mind of a prisoner when they died was considered ultimate entertainment so viewers actively tried to guess which prisoners would die and be at the right place at the right time.  Watching one prisoner kill another prisoner from the POV of the murderer was also considered top-notch entertainment but not as good as experiencing the death throes of a prisoner.  Some liberals complained that such vicarious experience of homicide was immoral but Ultimate Survivor was a top rated show with lots of sponsors.

 

Whoever could survive for the next five years on the island would be paroled. There was a catch. The parole would only come into effect if there were one and only one survivor.  In the case of more than one survivor, then no one would be paroled.  The death penalty had been abolished and this mechanism allowed the elimination of top criminals via the free will of other criminals rather than directly via the will of the tripolar global state of that time period.  The criminals included former mercenaries, assassins for hire and top martial artists.  Survival on Terminal Island even for a short period of time was extremely difficult.

 

The only ultimate survivor after five years was the criminal formerly known as the Green Alienator (https://foxhugh.wordpress.com/hugh-fox-green-alienator-vs-hugh-fox-grenade/) who had become trapped in the Valiant Universe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valiant_Comics)

after trying to escape from the Ultraverse (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultraverse).

The Green Alienator had been a multiverse traveler but five years on the island had changed him physically and spiritually.

 

The Green Alienator welcomed a chance at redemption and readily accepted the offer to become the first Rai and agent of the computer network.  The Green Alienators mutant technopathy also made him a logical candidate for nanite infusion.  The new Rai was able to accomplish tasks with the nanites that Bloodshot could never have imagined.  In particular the Rai of the 21st century could infuse other technological systems with some of his nanites in order to control them.  The technopathy had been the Green Alienators secret super power that along with his hyperkinesic perception (HKP) had kept him alive.  The downside is that he often experienced the pain of the other prisoners via their implants and this had changed his views about human suffering.  He had decided that the number one mission of any moral being was to minimize human suffering and making sure WW III did not happen certainly fit the parameters of his larger views.

 

The Rai of the 21st century gained superhuman speed, strength and endurance as well as mastery of all martial arts due to the nanite infusion.  The Green Alienator had formerly relied heavily on technological gimmicks but decided in the future to use more honorable means more in keeping with his new superhero persona.  The name Rai is derived from the kanji for “spirit” and the Green Alienator found the name appropriate.  The 21st century Rai worked undercover ensuring the survival of Japan and the world.  The computer network did not want humans to know of its existence until it was strong enough to guide Japan directly but did want a human agent that could help it survive before then.  Rai did not always agree with the computer network and felt knowledge of his existence was not directly tied to knowledge of the computer networks existence.  The most famous mission of the 21st century Rai was a time trip 20 years into the past to Tokyo in the year 2008 where he met with members of the superhuman community of that time period and united them on a mission to save the planet from WW III and this mission led to more publicity than the computer network was comfortable with. 

 

Pictures of Rai during his mission in the past are available at: http://www.facebook.com/people/Hugh_B_Fox_III/521247529.  Appropriate internet security clearance needs to be obtained before the pictures can be accessed by the reader of this post in this multiverse.  The first publicly known Rai did not emerge until the 31st century (http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Rai).

 

My other website at:

Fox Superpower List

WereVerse Universe Baby!

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What if Hello Kitty dated Snoopy?

Posted on June 10, 2008 | Leave a comment

 Snoopy can’t get Kitty out his mind (https://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2008/05/26/hello-kitty-vs-snoopy/).  Snoopy thinks about the adorable little bow and her perfect little black eyes and her cute little frock.  Kitty is even cuter than Peppermint Patty.  Snoopy listens to some Beethoven on Schroder’s piano but still can’t get Kitty out of his mind.  Snoopy runs into Lucy and gives her a great big wet kiss.  Lucy chases Snoopy for almost three blocks but beagles are pretty fast.  Snoopy usually gets a kick out of bugging Lucy but he still feels bad.  Snoopy visits Linus.  Linus offers him his blanket.  Snoopy holds the blanket but even that doesn’t work. 

 

Snoopy would ask Charlie Brown advice but he has watched Charlie Brown’s relationship, or rather a lack of a relationship with the little Red headed girl, for years now and thinks Charlie Brown cannot offer useful advice in this area.  Snoopy even plays in the sandbox with Pig-Pen and although he has great fun the heaviness in his heart doesn’t go away.  Snoopy tries to sleep that night but cannot.

 

Snoopy decides to see Kitty the next morning.  Kitty is staying at the Shangri-La Hotel.  Kitty opens the door.  Kitty asks Snoopy to take of his shoes and he looks at his feet in a confused manner.  He decides to wipe his feet of the rug and leaves a bit of dirt on the rug which embarrasses Snoopy but fortunately Kitty didn’t see what happened.  Snoopy sneakily moves some of her shoes around to cover the dirt stain and walks in.  The room is done in a Japanese style and Snoopy finds the place very interesting.  Some of the partition walls seemed to be made out of paper.  Snoopy liked to write books and his It was a dark and stormy night series was selling well.  Snoopy knew you could write on paper but Snoopy didn’t know you could make walls out of paper.  Snoopy has no idea what to do with the green paper his publishers gave him and generally tossed the green paper into a plastic bag in his dog house.

 

Kitty was in the living room area and his heart beat wildly.  Snoopy broke down and told Kitty about his feelings.  Kitty’s little eyes twinkled and she told him “Oh Snoopy san I can tell from your voice you are sincere but I already have a boyfriend.  Dear Daniel is my boyfriend.”  Snoopy was heartbroken and walked slowly towards the door.  Kitty out of politeness walked him to the door and trips on the shoes that Snoopy had moved.  The fall knocked Kitty out.  Kitty awoke and says “Who am I?  Who are you?”  Snoopy came up with a plan instantly “You are Kitty and I am your boyfriend Snoopy.  You fell down and hit your head and we need to get you to my home so you can rest and get better.

 

Snoopy took Kitty to his dog house.  Kitty looks at the dog house and can’t believe her eyes and says “You live here?”  “Sure I do” says Snoopy and adds “We are very happy when you visit me” and smiles a toothy smile.  Kitty is confused but automatically starts cleaning the dog house because it’s absolutely filthy. Snoopy slips in and out of various roles including Flying Ace and Joe Cool. Kitty would rather make tea and only half listening.  Still Kitty doesn’t mind his talking and thinks he is very imaginative even if rather childish.  She reflects that once she cleaned up the place the house is rather cozy.  Kitty looks at Snoopy’s giant nose and wonder why hers is so much smaller but after awhile she thinks his nose gives him character.

 

Kitty and Snoopy shared the dog food in the bowl.  Snoopy let Kitty eat first.  Kitty thinks the food is very strange and rather crunchy but not so bad.  Snoopy is of course desperately afraid that Kitty will remember and hopes he can charm her before this happens.  Snoopy decides to recreate the day before their date. 

 

Kitty and Snoopy listen to Schroder and then Kitty asks Schroeder if she can try to play the piano and does a beautiful job.  Kitty plays some Chopin instead of Beethoven and Schroeder finds her technique overly technical and lacking in feeling but nevertheless quite impressive for a cat.  Snoopy thinks her playing is sublime and he is determined to win Kitty’s heart.  Kitty and Snoopy visit Linus but Lucy answer’s the door and starts chasing Snoopy.  Kitty watches the chase dumb founded.  Snoopy loses Lucy again and uses his large nose to find Kitty again.  Snoopy explains that Lucy is just jealous of their love.  Kitty knows at some level this is not true but still can’t remember her past. 

 

They end a perfect day watching the sunset together and Snoopy has never been happier.  Just like that Kitty’s memory comes back!  Kitty tells Snoopy “Snoopy san my memory is back.  You tricked me but I know your intentions were from the heart. Thank you for a wonderful date but our love is not to be.  I must be true to Dear Daniel.  We are like two leaves passing each other in the wind and our destiny’s are not our own.”  Kitty gives Snoopy hug and a light kiss on the cheek and walks into the sunset.  A single tear falls down Snoopy check and suddenly Kitty is gone, forever.

 

 

WereVerse Universe Baby!

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Posted in Fiction, Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty & Snoopy, Peanuts, What if comic book situations?, What if TV dates?

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Badtz-Maru vs. Hello Kitty

Posted on June 10, 2008 | Leave a comment

Badtz-Maru has had dreams of greatness for years now.  The fact that he cannot seem to graduate from 1st grade in the Gorgeous Academy has been the one stumbling block to his dream to be the boss of everything.  Badtz-Maru strokes the scales of his alligator, Pochi.  Pochi rolls over unto his back because he especially loves to be scratched on his tummy.  Pandaba calls Badtz-Maru and tell him she has a plan to make him the boss of everything!

 

Legal Disclaimer:

The author of this post is not responsible for any children who lose their hands because they attempted to scratch the tummy of an alligator at the local zoo!

 

Pandaba hangs up.  She had been crying alone because the movie Panda Master has done so well in movie theaters and yet another cartoon Panda has upstaged her.  Pandaba has long ago given up being a famous toon and would just be content to be the most famous panda toon.  Later she gave up on this ambition since the Ranma 1/2 anime.  Ranma’s father becomes a panda when exposed to water.  This anime became super popular in Japan and Pandaba just wanted to be the second most famous panda toon.  Now it looks like she will have to settle for being the third most famous panda toon.  Pandaba really likes Badtza-Maru but knows his place in Sanrio Land is second or worse compared to the Kitty and Pandaba is not even the star of the of the Badtz Maru toon. 

 

Heck even Kitty’s cat Charmmy Kitty is better known than her.  Once again she ponders the paradox of a cat owning a cat and not going to jail for slavery.  Still Goofy the dog has owned Pluto the dog for years, at their arch-rivals land Disney Land, for years longer than Kitty and her cat without any legal problems. 

 

Pandaba knows more about Disney Land than most Sanrio characters.  She has been in secret negotiations with Donald Duck.  Donald Duck eliminates Kitty.  Pandaba eliminates Mickey Mouse.  Suddenly, the number twos at Sanrio Land and Disneyland are number one and no one is the wiser! Sanrio Land and Disney Land have a long history of difficult diplomatic relations and extradition from one land to the other would be impossible if even suspected.  But they are both just drawn too darn cute for such nefarious acts.  As Jessica Rabbit has said more than once “The way you are drawn is your destiny if you are a toon”

 

“Still” Pandaba thinks “Badtz-Maru is pretty popular and there are any number of characters in Sanrio Land that are less popular.  There are a lot of losers in Sanrio Land like Deery Lou and Patapata Peppy.”  But there are the serious rivals to Badtz-Maru like Chibi-maru, Chococat, Cinnamoroll, Keroppi Hasunoue, Kuromi, Landry, Little Twin Stars, My Melody, , Picke Bicke, Pochacco, Purin and Spottie Dottie.

 

Pandaba is especially worried about Chococat.  Pandaba thinks “Chococat might already be number two in Sanrio Land” Chococat was yet another cat and cats seemed to have a special luck in Sanrio Land.  Chococat was spunky and male as opposed to being well mannered and female like Kitty but as far as Pandaba was concerned a cat is a cat.

 

Pandaba reflected that dogs didn’t do as well as cats in Sanrio Land. Pochaccowas a popular dog.  Cinnamoroll aka, Baby Cinnamon, was even a flying dog but was third tier at best.  That also went for Chococats friend, Cookie-Bau.  Spottie Dottie was also popular.  Purin, aka Pudding Dog, was the probably the most popular dog in Sanrio Land but nowhere near as popular relatively as Pluto or Goofy in Disneyland.”

 

Rodents seemed to do well in all toon lands.  Mickey Mouse was a rodent and even more popular than Kitty in the toon world although Sanrio Land would never admit this.  Sanrio Land was filled with rodents like all toon lands!

 

Charmmy was friends with Sugar, a white jungalian hamster who is also Hello Kitty’s pet.  Chococat had Nutz the hamster and Jellybean the bunny as friends.  Unlike other toon lands, Sanrio Land cats and rodents coexisted in a way that would have befuddled Tom and Jerry. 

 

Rodents in all toon lands got along with other rodents.  My Melody and her rival, Kuromi were rabbit-like if not actual rabbits.  My Melody was friends with a blue mouse named Flat, and an orange squirrel named Risu.  Kuromi has a white rat named Chumi in her gang.  There was Landry the raccoon.  Picke Bicke was a fairly popular mouse.

 

Sanrio Land canines seemed to have a thing for rodents.  Pochacco the dog had several rodent friends including Choppi a small brown mouse, Guri a grey rabbit, Mogumogu a mole, Mon-Mon a brown flying squirrel and Rachel a skunk. Purin the dog was friends with Muffin the hamster, and Scone the mouse. 

 

This was ok since in most toon lands rodents and dogs got along in a way they never did in none-toon lands.  Most toons did not believe in none-toon lands but Pandaba was a rare believer.  There must have been creators of the toon world.  The argument that then you had to explain where the none-toons came from was yet another mystery.

 

Pandaba had often reflected that while Donald Duck was firmly number two at Disneyland there was no clear number two in Sanrio Land.  Getting rid of Kitty might just lead to a Sanrio Land character other than Badtz-Maru becoming number one.  And the fact that Badtz-Maru can’t seem to graduate from first grade had caused Pandaba to question if Badtz-Maru was ready to be the leader of Sanrio Land.

 

The last reason Pandaba had never taken the negotiations with Donald Duck to the next level was a fear that events might get out of hand and an out and out war between Sanrio Land and Disney Land could erupt.  Sanrio Land only had cute characters and no real warriors.  Sure Disney had plenty of cute toons like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck but they also had fearsome toons like Hercules who could single handily wreak havoc on Sanrio Land. 

 

Kitty might be the princess of Sanrio Land but in a fight with the Disney Princesses she would be in trouble.  Mulan had military experience.  Pocahontas was pretty buff.  Even nice princesses like Belle, Sleeping Beauty, aka Aurora, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine and Ariel were a lot taller than Kitty.  The Little Sisters were mythical god like beings and probably the most powerful beings in Sanrio Land but how did they compare with Disney gods like Hercules dad Zeus?

 

Pandaba was very philosophical for a toon!  Getting upstaged by yet another toon panda was the last straw and she had spent hours coming up with a plan by which their gang could take over Sanrio Land once and for all!  Pandaba gorged himself on yet another shumai, a Chinese steamed meat dumpling, to erase her worries and thoughts.

 

Hana Maru was practicing ball acrobatics when she received the call from Badtz-Maru.  As a seal she has a natural aptitude for such antics but you never know when her current toon job might not work out and she might have to get a job in a toon circus.  Hana Maru was a white seal and figured this might get her the edge in circus work since there weren’t many white seals but still you need to hone your skills just in case.  Hana Maru in turn alerted the rest of the Badtz Maru gang including:  Hanatare Kame, Soga Iruka, Ogawa Same Otto, Nogaki Goroo, Mochizuki Anko , and Kobun.  They would meet in the Gorgeoustown Park near the swings in order to hear Pandaba’s plan.

 

Next week!  Pandaba’s Plan!

 

WereVerse Universe Baby!

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 9: Magnus, Robot Fighter vs. Karate Kid.

Posted on June 4, 2008 | 1 comment

This one is a true doppelganger fight!  Magnus, Robot Figher (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus,_Robot_Fighter) knows super-karate.  The Karate Kid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karate_Kid_%28comics%29) knows super karate.  Both can shatter titanium blocks with a quick karate chop.  Both also live in the future!  Magnus Robot Fighter came first and deserves some credit for this.  Magnus Robot Fighter also has one of the most interesting super hero outfits around.  Matching magenta top and shorts with white boots!  More the sort of outfit you would expect on a go-go dancer rather than a male super hero.  Karate Kid had two outfits and both were pretty bad.  The first one was a dark tan Karate outfit made out of spandex complete with the black belt that was actually brown, I guess to match the rest of the outfit.  The second was some sort of black and white kung fu inspired martial arts outfit.  There was kung fu craze going on at the time.  Karate Kid also knows every martial art of the 30 th century not just on Earth but across the galaxy.  Karate Kid is a member of the Legion of Superheroes and in this universe there is a United Planets.  Magnus lives in a much more insular future were interstellar contact is generally a prelude to alien invasion. The Karate Kid even learned a martial art specially designed to fight aliens like Super Boy. So the Karate Kid has the edge in knowledge of martial arts.

 

However, Magnus has been fighting robots.  Big robots!  Gigantic robots!  Deadly robots!  Magnus has the edge in combat experience and beats the Karate Kid.  Anyway Magnus has the courage to wear white boots and deserves to win.

 

My other website at:

Fox Superpower List

WereVerse Universe Baby!

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 8: Harbinger vs. the New Teen Titans

Posted on June 4, 2008 | Leave a comment

Harbinger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harbinger_%28comics%29) is a group of teenagers who are “harbingers” of the next stage of evolution which in super hero land always means super powers i.e. what Marvel calls mutants and DC calls metahumans.  The basic idea is that some humans are born with superpowers due to some mechanism of evolution.  I will pit the Harbingers against the New Mutants in one of my Marvel vs. Valiant posts. 

 

The Harbingers include Sting, Zephyr, Flamingo, Torque, Livewire and Stronghold.  Sting is an extremely powerful psionic. Torque has superhuman strength and durability. Stronghold can psionically absorb mass to increase his size and strength.  The girls include, Zephyr who can fly, wow.  Alongside the Fat Fury and Bouncing Boy, Zephyr is one of the few fat do good doers and maybe the only fat girl!  Flamingo can generate and control flame, was a stripper and is gorgeous and sexy as if to make up for Zephyr.  Livewire can control electromagnetic forces and uses a magnetically controlled whip as a weapon. Livewire and Stronghold are a team and were members of the Eggbreakers, evil harbingers, recruited for their propensity for violence and will fight dirty if they have to. 

 

What is interesting about the Harbingers is that many of them are a teen flick type.  Torque is the mechanic with long hair and blue-collar background i.e. an updated greaser.  Stings girlfriend, who has no super powers or combat skills, and kind of a side kick, Kris Hathaway is literally the cheerleader.  Zephyr is the fat girl, a staple of teen flicks if not comic books.  Flamingo (http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Charlene_Dupr%C3%A9)

 is the sexy bad girl in contrast to the good cheerleader and the good fat girl.  Kris is Stings girlfriend. Zephyr (http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Faith_Herbert) is the fat girls so of course she does not have a boyfriend.  In many ways the Harbingers are members of the Grease cast with super powers.  Paramount plans to do a movie based on the Harbinger comic book and I think they should hire me as a consultant so I can explore the teen flick angle in greater detail than was done in the comic book.

 

The Teen Titans, like the Justice League and the Avengers, have included a small army of heroes at one time or another.  The commonality of all the members is that they are teens as the name suggests.  However, the core of the “new” Teen Titans for the first twenty issues was Robin, Wonder Girl, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy and Raven before the Teen Titans proved, one more time, that more is not better when it comes to super teams and watched sales plummet in direct relation to the bigger and more complex the Teen Titan roster became. 

 

Sting is the most powerful member of the harbingers and logically would be pitted against the most powerful Teen Titan, Raven (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raven_%28comics%29).  Raven is half human and half demon and derives her powers from her demon father.  The muscle of the Harbingers is Torque and he goes after the strong man of the Teen Titans, Cyborg.  In comic books girls fight girls whenever possible. Starfire fights Livewire.  Wonder Girl takes on Flamingo.  Zephyr flits about the room looking for someone as weak as her in the Teen Titans and decides that this is Robin who is the only Teen Titan without super powers.  The two shape changers match off:  Beast Boy vs. Stronghold.

 

Sting initially tries tossing objects at Raven but she swats the objects back at him with her soul self, a dark energy in the form of a raven or teleports out of the way.  They then switch to blasting at each other.  She alternately uses her soul self as a shield and teleportation to handle the blasts.  He just uses a telekinetic shield. Raven is an empath and senses when Sting is weakened and teleports behind and knocks him out with a blow from her soul self.  Sting goes down. 

 

Cyborg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg_%28comics%29) blasts Torque with a sonic blast from one of the many offensive weapons that he carries.  The sonic blast stuns Torque but he quickly recovers and punches Cyborg through the wall.  Cyborg is amazed at the strength of Torque and realizes he has a fight on his hands.  The two teens trade colossal blows but finally Cyborg is knocked out.  Cyborgs mechanical body is extremely durable but he still has some human parts that are vulnerable when shaken while Torque is durable through and through.  Besides Torque is the father of Magnus Robot Fighter, who has similar powers, and can fight armies of robots with powers similar to Cyborg.

 

Zephyr flies around Robin from 20 feet above and yells “Too bad you can’t fly like a real robin”.  Zephyr is about thirty pounds overweight.  Like most fitness nuts, Robin secretly detests fat people especially fat girls.  His girl friend, Star Fire is as fit as they come, a model, Kory Anders, and did a bikini shot for a major magazine and that issue sold out in a matter of days because of her presence.  Being taunted by a fat flying girl is just too much and he decides girl or not she is going down hard.  Robin casually tosses a batarang at Zephyr’s head and she drops to the floor.  Robin does not bother to run to where she is falling and catch her like her normally would and she makes a pleasant thud as she hits the floor.  Robin rationalizes that a fat gal like that would probably break his back if he tried to catch her from that height but really he just does not like fat girls period. 

 

Kris Hathaway does not engage in combat since she is actually pretty smart even though she was a cheerleader.  Kris has been watching the fight and decides it’s time to talk to Robin.  Kris is very cute, approaches Robin and castigates him for taking out Zephyr in such an extremely brutal manner.  Kris tells Robin in her snootiest tone that he is supposed to be a hero and heroes don’t toss batarangs at girls and let them fall from twenty feet without even trying to catch them.  Robin knows what Kris says is true and does not bother to answer and just looks down at his green clad feet.  Robin also finds Kris, the wholesome girl next door, type a welcome contrast to the exotic beauties he is normally around. Starfire, his girlfriend and Wonder Girl are great gals but both have super strength and no matter how many pushups he does, they will always be a thousand times stronger than him.  Raven was half demon and he wouldn’t have sex with her on a bet even though she is gorgeous and Robins is a normal healthy red blooded teen male.  Robin thinks, this Kris girl could hug me with all her might and I wouldn’t have to worry about my rib cage being crushed like tooth pick. 

 

Robin loves Starfire but all her superpowers often make him feel inadequate and she wasn’t a virgin at all when he got together with her.  Worse she had been forced into interplanetary sex slavery by her evil sister in her solar system and had experienced the vilest treatment from a long line of alien masters which made Robin have sympathy for her but also made him wonder how he compared to all the aliens Starfire had encountered.  Kris can see that Robin looks bad and asks him for his first aid kit in his belt so she can help Zephyr out as best she can.  Kris starts to administer first aid to Zephyr who has a really bad gash across her forehead.

 

Robin walks away and mutters under his breath something about how super humans always assume someone without superpowers is the weakest member of a super hero team when in fact he is probably the most resourceful member of the Teen Titans. Robin thinks “I am after all their leader.  I was the only one who was not taken down by Deathstroke when he attacked the Teen Titans with help from the traitor Terra.  blah, blah, blah” 

 

Starfire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfire_%28comics%29) has super strength, invulnerability, the ability to fly and can fire starbolts from her hands.  Starfire can also learn any language by kissing a person who knows that language but Starfire is the girlfriend of Robin in the time period this fight is set and besides does not kiss girls.

Starfire is probably the most exotic beauty of the DC Universe.  She comes from another planet and has bronze skin, not tanned but bronze, green eyes minus pupils, long, brown, full, curly hair that comes to down to her knees and wears an swimsuit type outfit, lavender colored to go with her eyes that shows off every curve and especially her ample bosom with a plunging top.  Robin is one lucky teen age guy!  Livewire wraps her metal cable around Starfire’s arms.  Livewire has a dominatrix side and watching Starfire in bondage is starting to turn her on.  Starfire ignores the metal whip and flies into Livewire’s stomach headfirst knocking her out.

 

Wonder Girl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonder_Girl) has all the powers of Wonder Woman but to a lesser extent and was adopted by Wonder Woman in of many versions of her origin.  These powers include super strength, flight, invulnerability and a golden lasso, which does not have the power to force people to tell the truth, unlike Wonder Woman’s.  Wonder Woman flies out of the range of Flamingo’s flames and lassoes her from above and swings her around the room and bangs her against a wall knocking her unconscious.

 

Beast Boy, also named Changeling, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_Boy) is green skinned permanently and kind of short as well.  Beast Boy fell in love with the traitor Terra but she just used him.  Beast Boy is surrounded by three gorgeous gals that have no interest in a short green skinned guy and is pretty frustrated.  Beast boy can turn into a green skinned version of any animal.  There are limits to how big an animal he can become.  Beast Boy once had his strength augmented by Amazonian by science on Paradise Island, the home of Wonder Girl, and became an out of control brontosaurus but generally the biggest animal he can become is an elephant.  

 

Stronghold starts to grow and Beast Boy turns into an elephant and charges into Stronghold but Stronghold is already twice the size of an elephant by the time Beast Boy slams into Stronghold.  Stronghold easily tosses Beast Boy aside.  Beast boy turns into a humming bird and flies into the ear of Stronghold and hits his inner ear knocking him unconscious.

 

Raven, Starfire, Robin, Wonder Girl and Beast Boy all gang up on Torque.  Robin offers him the option of surrender and he tells them to go to hell.  Robin is secretly pleased.  The fight with Zephyr was a fiasco and beneath him and he feels a little guilty about his behavior towards her.  Wonder Girl binds torque with her lasso while Starfire blasts him. Raven blasts him as well.  Robin tosses a batarang at him for good measure. The batarang toss probably wasn’t needed but tossing a batarang around always makes Robin feel better not as good as Starfire can but close.  Torque is tough but not that tough and goes down.  DC wins the battle of the teens! 

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 7: H.A.R.D. Corps vs. OMACSs

Posted on June 4, 2008 | Leave a comment

The H.A.R.D. Corps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.A.R.D._Corps) are a group of Vietnam vets that are US government operatives.  They can download super powers as needed.  They can download one of the following powers:  So, the H.A.R.D. Corps are sort of like ultimate universal soldiers.

 

Airborne – The user can fly.

Arc Charge – The user can generate electrical energy.

Decoy Mode – The user can create illusions such as holograms

Detonation Mode – The user can cause explosions.

Forcefield – The user can generate a forcefield that completely encases the user and protects the user.

Ghost Mode – The user can become intangible.

Grenade Mode – The user can throw energy grenades from their hands.

Inivisibility – The user can become invisible.

Invulnerability – The user cannot be damaged but can be knocked out.

Jolt Mode – The user can administer an adrenaline jolt that counters soporifics.

Neural Spike – The user has the ability to throw spikes that attack the nervous system.

Shield Mode – The user can create an energy shield.

Static Mode – The user can disrupt communications and transmissions.

Strength Mode – The user has superhuman strength.

Strobe Burst – The user can generate a blinding flash of light.

Stun Ram – The user can project a ray of concussive force.

Sunburst – The user has the ability to fire flame blasts from the user’s hands.

Tsetse – The user can put someone to sleep with a touch.

Ultra-Mass – The user can increase their density.

 

This is quite a list of super power!  The main weakness of the H.A.R.D. Corps is that they can only download one power at a time and rely on a headset to radio such requests.  They members do carry fire arms.

 

The OMACs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OMACs) are humans that have been forced into being transformed into being OMACs by the evil computer OMAC.  The OMACs can also download superpowers and can use several powers at the same time.  They are also protected by a cybernetic shell and can turn their hands into blades or pincers.  Batman built this computer by the way before it went out of control.  Batman obviously never watched HAL in action in 2001 Space Odyssey.  OMAC the computer can turn a human into an OMAC in seconds and created hundreds if not thousands of OMACs to take over the Earth. 

 

The US government has to put in a brain implant to create a H.A.R.D. Corps member.  The OMACs are created via a nanotechnology virus so the OMAC computer will be able to whip up a thousand OMACs before the US government can create one H.A.R.D. Corps member so in a drawn out war the OMACs will win through sheer weight of numbers but what about an equal number of H.A.R.D. Corps members against a equal number of OMACs?  The H.A.R.D. Corps group generally consists of four members including Gunslinger, Shakespeare, Maniac and Hammerhead.

 

The four OMACs square off against the four H.A.R.D. Corps members.  The OMACs are kind of mindless automatons with very limited reasoning ability. H.A.R.D. Corps on the other hand are smart guys with tons of combat experience.  They figure the OMACs are similar to them and they know how they would take out themselves.  Hammerhead uses the static mode to interfere with the OMAC computer transmissions and gunslinger shoots the now none powered civilians down with his submachine gun. The H.A.R.D. Corps feel bad about shooting civilians but figure the OMAC computer would quickly figure out some way to get around their static mode.  The OMACs are more powerful than the H.A.R.D. Corps and the static mode trick was their only chance. War is hell as any Vietnam vet knows.

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 6: Geomancer vs. Geomancer

Posted on June 4, 2008 | Leave a comment

Feng shui (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng_shui) is a type of geomancy.  Feng shui is a Chinese art.  A feng shui expert will

advise a client as to the best place to build a building. The feng shui expert uses knowledge of the five Chinese elements as a guide.  The feng shui expert can also tell you how to place objects in your apartment to maximize positive energy flow. 

 

Geomancer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clay_McHenry_%28Valiant_Comics%29) from the

Valiant is the guardian of the Earth selected by the Earth itself.  The Geomancer is a psychic

that can sense disturbances.  In some ways the Geomancer is a super feng shui expert and

therefore well named.  The Eternal Warrior acts as an agent of the Geomancer and good

thing too since the Geomancer has no special combat abilities.

 

The DC Geomancer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geomancer_(comics)) is totally misnamed

and can cause earthquakes.  DC already has the hero Geo-Force (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geo-Force) that can cause localized

earthquakes and fly and blast things.  His illegitimate half sister, Terra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terra_(comics)), infiltrated the Teen Titans in the Judas Contract story line and pretended to be one of them while at the same time working for the super villain Deathstroke (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deathstroke).  Since Terra had no scruples about killing someone she showed how scary this power really could be.  There is Avalanche (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avalanche_(comics)), a super villain, over in the Marvel universe, that has the same earthquake power.  There is no DC character that really has the same power as the Valiant universe Geomancer.  This is a first since DC and Marvel have every super power imaginable covered. 

 

DC even has Arm Fall Off Boy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arm_Fall_Off_Boy) who has the power to make his arms fall off!  This power then leaves him armless and unable to punch someone in a fight.  I suppose if someone grabbed his wrist he could have the grabbed arm fall off and punch the shocked mugger with his other arm.  X-Men III had Wolverine fighting some character who could re-grow his arms after having them slashed off by Wolverine and this power is practical compared to Arms Fall Off Boy.

 

The Valiant Geomancer senses that the DC Geomancer is going to attack him because the

Villain does not like the fact they both share the same name.  Don’t laugh this is the reason Power Man, the villain, attacked Power Man the hero of the same name in the Marvel universe.  Power Man the villain had his butt handed to him by Power Man the hero and must have felt pretty stupid afterwards.  The Valiant Geomancer calls his buddy the Eternal Warrior to act as a body guard.  The DC Geomancer is an obscure third rate villain with an inappropriate name while the Eternal Warrior is the premiere hero of Valiant universe who defeated Batman (https://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/dc-vs-valiant-universe-5-eternal-warrior-vs-batman/) in an earlier post on this site.  The Eternal Warrior dodges an earthquake attack of the DC Geomancer and takes him out with a single well placed punch.

 

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What if? Date 4: Carrie of “Sex and the City” dates Frasier.

Posted on May 26, 2008 | 1 comment

Carrie has had her first book published and is so excited.  Carrie’s publisher calls her and tells her that based on their research her largest fan base outside of New York in the US is Seattle.  They want her to do a book tour to Seattle all expenses paid!  Carrie has never been to Seattle.

 

After the disastrous train ride to California with Samantha, Carrie isn’t sure she wants to do any more book tours.  The date with Mr. Big in California worked out in the end but made her rethink her relationships.  Carrie has vowed the next man will be one who is in touch with his emotion and can talk about them rather than emotionally unreachable like Mr. Big.  Anyway, Carrie has watched Sleepless and Seattle at least four times and wonders what like the actual city is like.

 

Carrie learned her lesson after the train ride to California and travel in style on an airplane.  She arrives late at night.  The alarm rings and she gets ready.  A local agent drives her to the bookstore.  Unlike her book signing in California there are tons of young gals in what she thinks is Goth or grunge or some combination of the two styles.  Not a pair of Prada shoes in the bunch.  She’s sees more tattoos in four hours in the bookstore than in a week in New York and wonders if maybe she’s old fashioned and if a small tattoo placed tastefully were no one can see it might be fun but then wonder if the process is painful and decides that she is not a tattoo sort of gal.

 

A tall man with a square face and blond hair in a perfect Brook Brothers suit sits down to get his book signed.  She can’t help notice that he is extremely well groomed compared to all the grungy, bearded, mustachioed men that have approached before.  She was wondering if a black T-shirt with a flannel shirt was some sort of Seattle uniform.  When he pulls out a Mont Blanc pen she perks up a bit.  When the Mont Blanc pen turns out to be a fountain pen she is a bit surprised.  He puts out his hand confidently to shaker hers and introduces himself as Frasier.

 

Carrie: I can’t help but notice that is a fountain pen.  I didn’t know anyone still used fountain pens.

Frasier: Normally I don’t but I think a book signing is a special event and deserves a special pen. This is my book signing pen.  The pen itself is part of a special limited edition set.  Notice the azure finish that offsets the silver trim, that’s real silver by the way.

Frasier raises his pen to his eyes and looks at the finish and then at her eyes.

Frasier: Actually you have azure eyes yourself.  Azure is my favorite color and I don’t think I have ever met a women with eyes quite the color of yours, not to mention the rest of you is quite fetching.

 

Carrie is taken aback and pleased at the same time.  Unless they are gay, Carries experience is that most men don’t know the difference between blue and azure.  She briefly wonders if Frasier is gay but no he is definitely flirting with her.  After having spent time in California with a man that was sparing in his praise of her, this Frasier fellow is a welcome change.  She reflects a bit and decides it’s not the praise itself but how Frasier says the praise in a sincere genuine, warm tone rather than the ironic, kidding tone, Mr. Big half uses 24/7 that she used to find endearing but she suddenly realizes now irritates her even as she reflects on Mr. Big’s voice. 

 

Sometimes when Big raises his eyebrows in a Groucho Marx manner, with his trademark sexy smile, Carrie just wants to slap him since this assumes a familiarity he has betrayed and the worst part is that he doesn’t he even know what he has done to her by moving to California.

Carrie thinks: Why is it those habits we first loved in our loved one, in the long run become those things we hate the most?  Are we doomed to hate what we used to love?

Frasier: You know I am a giant fan of yours I think your insight into relationships while humorous and also quite deep.  I have thought of writing a review of your book from a psychological point for the next Seattle conference of marriage counselors and psychologists.

Carrie: You are a psychologist?  You dress and act more like someone in another profession.

Frasier: And what profession would that be?

Carrie: I don’t know but when I think psychiatrist I think Freud and when I think Freud I think beard and you are in the city with more men with beards per capita than anywhere but a lumber jack camp.

Frasier: Well actually in Seattle the civilians wear beards and the psychiatrists don’t in order to stand out. 

Carrie: Well in New York a psychiatrist has to wear ratty tweed jacket or something else that shows you have poor fashion sense.

Frasier: Hmm, you must have met my first wife.

Carrie: What?

Frasier: Nothing, nothing, let’s not spoil our festive introduction with memories of bitter vicissitudes of the past.  Look here’s my card.  Why don’t we get together tonight for a drink, consider me the President of the Carrie Bradshaw club, the Seattle chapter.

Carrie: Well President, Carrie Bradshaw wants to make a spot inspection and see if the fan club if following the national regulations.

Frasier: What regulations are those?

Carrie: That’s for me to know and for you to find out.

Frasier: A woman of both mystery and beauty quiet my beating heart.

 

The two arrange to meet at the lobby of her hotel later in the evening.  Carrie gets ready for the date.   Is it a date? She wonders?  She also wonders what dating a psychiatrist will be like.  Her Seattle contact from the publishing company recognized the name on his card instantly and said Frasier was a bit of a local celebrity because of his radio talk show.  Well she wanted a man who was emotionally available and could talk about his emotions, and certainly a psychologist fits these criteria, if anyone does.

 

Frasier walks her to a new restaurant that is about two blocks away from the hotel.

 

Frasier: The restaurant is a new French/Japanese fusion restaurant called Michaud’s.  Apparently the Chef has a mother from Montreal and a father from Japan that had met in Seoul where he grew up.  The father cooked on the weekends and the mother cooked during the week so he grew up trilingual, French, Japanese and Korean and biculinary, French and Japanese.

Carrie: Biculinary?  Is that legal?  Man that sounds like one National Geographic personal history.

Frasier: No kidding, I guess if you don’t have parents from at least two countries and are raised in a third country then you are hopelessly provincial.  I once met this Peruvian American at Gifted and Talented summer camp at Michigan State University when I was in Middle School and back then he was the height of exoticism but I guess nowadays he’s practically a WASP.  Well anyway, he does this lovely set of sushi dishes that include a truffle garnish, pâté and a Frenchified soy sauce that is to die for.

Carrie: How do you Frenchify soy sauce?

Frasier: Apparently you read the bottles of soy sauce Sartre in order to make them more cultured. 

Carrie:  You know I once tried to read Being and Nothingness and didn’t get it at all.

Frasier: The key to understanding Being and Nothingness is that it’s a lot of BS about nothing.

Carrie thinks: Wow! Funny and intellectual!  Carry is very impressed by the dinner and thinks that maybe New York is not the only city in the world with great, cutting edge restaurants.  Frasier’s phone rings and as soon as Frasier hears the voice on the other end his face drops and he is visibly upset.

 

Frasier: Dad why are you calling me?  I told you I was on a date and didn’t want to be disturbed.  Eddie is sick?  This is supposed to be a bad thing?  No, no I’m sorry that’s uncalled for.  Well what am I supposed to do?  I am not a vet.  You think it’s a psychological problem?  Have you tried calling Niles?  No luck, hmmm, I see ok I will see what I can do.

Carrie: What’s wrong?

Frasier: my father thinks Eddie, his dog, is suffering from psychological shock due to a TV show.

Carrie: What sort of show causes psychological shock to dogs?

Frasier: Well aside from I Love New York the TV show, not the campaign, that causes anyone with an IQ of over 60 shock, and Eddie has an IQ of 62, there was cartoon special titled “Hello Kitty vs. Snoopy” and apparently Snoopy lost.  Eddie identifies strongly with Snoopy..

Carrie: But I Love New York.  Dogs don’t watch TV.  Are you sure Eddie is a dog and not some figment of your imagination?

Frasier: Oh I wish Eddie was a figment of my imagination but I am afraid he is all too real.  Look I hate to cut our date short but I need to get home and help my father out.  I don’t see how I can help since I am not a licensed dog psychiatrist.  Who knows what sort of squirrels and gerbils are running around the brain of a canine?

Carrie: I have an idea why don’t I come over and help you out.  I have some experience with a dog called Petey and if I can handle a dog with diarrhea in the middle of Manhattan then I certainly can help you with a dog with mere mental problems.

Frasier: Are you sure my father is very…let’s just say, we are very different.

Carrie: Different?

Frasier: Dr Jekyll was a soul mate of Mr. Hyde compared to me and my father.  Bruce Banner is practically a doppelganger of the Hulk compared to me and my father.

Carrie thinks: Who the heck is Bruce Banner but keeps her mouth shut since her affair with comic book guy taught her to never, ever ask guys about comic books since they might actually answer your question.

Carrie:  I am sure you are exaggerating.

 

Secretly Carrie welcomes this opportunity to see Frasier in his home environment and also wants to see how he handles an emergency even if the emergency is a rather lame one.  In the past she has wasted time on endless dates before finding out that the man she was dating had some secret or oddity that made the relationship impossible.

 

Carrie thinks: Get right to the house on the first date and start opening up those closets right away!  That’s my new philosophy.

 

STAY TUNED FOR:

 

What if? Date 5: Carrie of “Sex and the City” dates Frasier.

-Carrie meets, Frasier’s father, Martin!

-Carrie meets Eddie!

-Carrie meets Niles!

-Carrie meets Daphne!

-And Carrie meets a surprise guest that will leave you speechless!

 

Remember anything is possible on the “What if” channel.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

 

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