Badtz-Maru has had dreams of greatness for years now. The fact that he cannot seem to graduate from 1st grade in the Gorgeous Academy has been the one stumbling block to his dream to be the boss of everything. Badtz-Maru strokes the scales of his alligator, Pochi. Pochi rolls over unto his back because he especially loves to be scratched on his tummy. Pandaba calls Badtz-Maru and tell him she has a plan to make him the boss of everything!
The author of this post is not responsible for any children who lose their hands because they attempted to scratch the tummy of an alligator at the local zoo!
Pandaba hangs up. She had been crying alone because the movie Panda Master has done so well in movie theaters and yet another cartoon Panda has upstaged her. Pandaba has long ago given up being a famous toon and would just be content to be the most famous panda toon. Later she gave up on this ambition since the Ranma 1/2 anime. Ranma’s father becomes a panda when exposed to water. This anime became super popular in Japan and Pandaba just wanted to be the second most famous panda toon. Now it looks like she will have to settle for being the third most famous panda toon. Pandaba really likes Badtza-Maru but knows his place in Sanrio Land is second or worse compared to the Kitty and Pandaba is not even the star of the of the Badtz Maru toon.
Heck even Kitty’s cat Charmmy Kitty is better known than her. Once again she ponders the paradox of a cat owning a cat and not going to jail for slavery. Still Goofy the dog has owned Pluto the dog for years, at their arch-rivals land Disney Land, for years longer than Kitty and her cat without any legal problems.
Pandaba knows more about Disney Land than most Sanrio characters. She has been in secret negotiations with Donald Duck. Donald Duck eliminates Kitty. Pandaba eliminates Mickey Mouse. Suddenly, the number twos at Sanrio Land and Disneyland are number one and no one is the wiser! Sanrio Land and Disney Land have a long history of difficult diplomatic relations and extradition from one land to the other would be impossible if even suspected. But they are both just drawn too darn cute for such nefarious acts. As Jessica Rabbit has said more than once “The way you are drawn is your destiny if you are a toon”
“Still” Pandaba thinks “Badtz-Maru is pretty popular and there are any number of characters in Sanrio Land that are less popular. There are a lot of losers in Sanrio Land like Deery Lou and Patapata Peppy.” But there are the serious rivals to Badtz-Maru like Chibi-maru, Chococat, Cinnamoroll, Keroppi Hasunoue, Kuromi, Landry, Little Twin Stars, My Melody, , Picke Bicke, Pochacco, Purin and Spottie Dottie.
Pandaba is especially worried about Chococat. Pandaba thinks “Chococat might already be number two in Sanrio Land” Chococat was yet another cat and cats seemed to have a special luck in Sanrio Land. Chococat was spunky and male as opposed to being well mannered and female like Kitty but as far as Pandaba was concerned a cat is a cat.
Pandaba reflected that dogs didn’t do as well as cats in Sanrio Land. Pochaccowas a popular dog. Cinnamoroll aka, Baby Cinnamon, was even a flying dog but was third tier at best. That also went for Chococats friend, Cookie-Bau. Spottie Dottie was also popular. Purin, aka Pudding Dog, was the probably the most popular dog in Sanrio Land but nowhere near as popular relatively as Pluto or Goofy in Disneyland.”
Rodents seemed to do well in all toon lands. Mickey Mouse was a rodent and even more popular than Kitty in the toon world although Sanrio Land would never admit this. Sanrio Land was filled with rodents like all toon lands!
Charmmy was friends with Sugar, a white jungalian hamster who is also Hello Kitty’s pet. Chococat had Nutz the hamster and Jellybean the bunny as friends. Unlike other toon lands, Sanrio Land cats and rodents coexisted in a way that would have befuddled Tom and Jerry.
Rodents in all toon lands got along with other rodents. My Melody and her rival, Kuromi were rabbit-like if not actual rabbits. My Melody was friends with a blue mouse named Flat, and an orange squirrel named Risu. Kuromi has a white rat named Chumi in her gang. There was Landry the raccoon. Picke Bicke was a fairly popular mouse.
Sanrio Land canines seemed to have a thing for rodents. Pochacco the dog had several rodent friends including Choppi a small brown mouse, Guri a grey rabbit, Mogumogu a mole, Mon-Mon a brown flying squirrel and Rachel a skunk. Purin the dog was friends with Muffin the hamster, and Scone the mouse.
This was ok since in most toon lands rodents and dogs got along in a way they never did in none-toon lands. Most toons did not believe in none-toon lands but Pandaba was a rare believer. There must have been creators of the toon world. The argument that then you had to explain where the none-toons came from was yet another mystery.
Pandaba had often reflected that while Donald Duck was firmly number two at Disneyland there was no clear number two in Sanrio Land. Getting rid of Kitty might just lead to a Sanrio Land character other than Badtz-Maru becoming number one. And the fact that Badtz-Maru can’t seem to graduate from first grade had caused Pandaba to question if Badtz-Maru was ready to be the leader of Sanrio Land.
The last reason Pandaba had never taken the negotiations with Donald Duck to the next level was a fear that events might get out of hand and an out and out war between Sanrio Land and Disney Land could erupt. Sanrio Land only had cute characters and no real warriors. Sure Disney had plenty of cute toons like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck but they also had fearsome toons like Hercules who could single handily wreak havoc on Sanrio Land.
Kitty might be the princess of Sanrio Land but in a fight with the Disney Princesses she would be in trouble. Mulan had military experience. Pocahontas was pretty buff. Even nice princesses like Belle, Sleeping Beauty, aka Aurora, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine and Ariel were a lot taller than Kitty. The Little Sisters were mythical god like beings and probably the most powerful beings in Sanrio Land but how did they compare with Disney gods like Hercules dad Zeus?
Pandaba was very philosophical for a toon! Getting upstaged by yet another toon panda was the last straw and she had spent hours coming up with a plan by which their gang could take over Sanrio Land once and for all! Pandaba gorged himself on yet another shumai, a Chinese steamed meat dumpling, to erase her worries and thoughts.
Hana Maru was practicing ball acrobatics when she received the call from Badtz-Maru. As a seal she has a natural aptitude for such antics but you never know when her current toon job might not work out and she might have to get a job in a toon circus. Hana Maru was a white seal and figured this might get her the edge in circus work since there weren’t many white seals but still you need to hone your skills just in case. Hana Maru in turn alerted the rest of the Badtz Maru gang including: Hanatare Kame, Soga Iruka, Ogawa Same Otto, Nogaki Goroo, Mochizuki Anko , and Kobun. They would meet in the Gorgeoustown Park near the swings in order to hear Pandaba’s plan.
Next week! Pandaba’s Plan!
WereVerse Universe Baby!