Daily Archives: June 10, 2008

What if Hello Kitty dated Snoopy?

 Snoopy can’t get Kitty out his mind (http://foxhugh.com/2008/05/26/hello-kitty-vs-snoopy/).  Snoopy thinks about the adorable little bow and her perfect little black eyes and her cute little frock.  Kitty is even cuter than Peppermint Patty.  Snoopy listens to some Beethoven on Schroder’s piano but still can’t get Kitty out of his mind.  Snoopy runs into Lucy and gives her a great big wet kiss.  Lucy chases Snoopy for almost three blocks but beagles are pretty fast.  Snoopy usually gets a kick out of bugging Lucy but he still feels bad.  Snoopy visits Linus.  Linus offers him his blanket.  Snoopy holds the blanket but even that doesn’t work. 


Snoopy would ask Charlie Brown advice but he has watched Charlie Brown’s relationship, or rather a lack of a relationship with the little Red headed girl, for years now and thinks Charlie Brown cannot offer useful advice in this area.  Snoopy even plays in the sandbox with Pig-Pen and although he has great fun the heaviness in his heart doesn’t go away.  Snoopy tries to sleep that night but cannot.


Snoopy decides to see Kitty the next morning.  Kitty is staying at the Shangri-La Hotel.  Kitty opens the door.  Kitty asks Snoopy to take of his shoes and he looks at his feet in a confused manner.  He decides to wipe his feet of the rug and leaves a bit of dirt on the rug which embarrasses Snoopy but fortunately Kitty didn’t see what happened.  Snoopy sneakily moves some of her shoes around to cover the dirt stain and walks in.  The room is done in a Japanese style and Snoopy finds the place very interesting.  Some of the partition walls seemed to be made out of paper.  Snoopy liked to write books and his It was a dark and stormy night series was selling well.  Snoopy knew you could write on paper but Snoopy didn’t know you could make walls out of paper.  Snoopy has no idea what to do with the green paper his publishers gave him and generally tossed the green paper into a plastic bag in his dog house.


Kitty was in the living room area and his heart beat wildly.  Snoopy broke down and told Kitty about his feelings.  Kitty’s little eyes twinkled and she told him “Oh Snoopy san I can tell from your voice you are sincere but I already have a boyfriend.  Dear Daniel is my boyfriend.”  Snoopy was heartbroken and walked slowly towards the door.  Kitty out of politeness walked him to the door and trips on the shoes that Snoopy had moved.  The fall knocked Kitty out.  Kitty awoke and says “Who am I?  Who are you?”  Snoopy came up with a plan instantly “You are Kitty and I am your boyfriend Snoopy.  You fell down and hit your head and we need to get you to my home so you can rest and get better.


Snoopy took Kitty to his dog house.  Kitty looks at the dog house and can’t believe her eyes and says “You live here?”  “Sure I do” says Snoopy and adds “We are very happy when you visit me” and smiles a toothy smile.  Kitty is confused but automatically starts cleaning the dog house because it’s absolutely filthy. Snoopy slips in and out of various roles including Flying Ace and Joe Cool. Kitty would rather make tea and only half listening.  Still Kitty doesn’t mind his talking and thinks he is very imaginative even if rather childish.  She reflects that once she cleaned up the place the house is rather cozy.  Kitty looks at Snoopy’s giant nose and wonder why hers is so much smaller but after awhile she thinks his nose gives him character.


Kitty and Snoopy shared the dog food in the bowl.  Snoopy let Kitty eat first.  Kitty thinks the food is very strange and rather crunchy but not so bad.  Snoopy is of course desperately afraid that Kitty will remember and hopes he can charm her before this happens.  Snoopy decides to recreate the day before their date. 


Kitty and Snoopy listen to Schroder and then Kitty asks Schroeder if she can try to play the piano and does a beautiful job.  Kitty plays some Chopin instead of Beethoven and Schroeder finds her technique overly technical and lacking in feeling but nevertheless quite impressive for a cat.  Snoopy thinks her playing is sublime and he is determined to win Kitty’s heart.  Kitty and Snoopy visit Linus but Lucy answer’s the door and starts chasing Snoopy.  Kitty watches the chase dumb founded.  Snoopy loses Lucy again and uses his large nose to find Kitty again.  Snoopy explains that Lucy is just jealous of their love.  Kitty knows at some level this is not true but still can’t remember her past. 


They end a perfect day watching the sunset together and Snoopy has never been happier.  Just like that Kitty’s memory comes back!  Kitty tells Snoopy “Snoopy san my memory is back.  You tricked me but I know your intentions were from the heart. Thank you for a wonderful date but our love is not to be.  I must be true to Dear Daniel.  We are like two leaves passing each other in the wind and our destiny’s are not our own.”  Kitty gives Snoopy hug and a light kiss on the cheek and walks into the sunset.  A single tear falls down Snoopy check and suddenly Kitty is gone, forever.



WereVerse Universe Baby!

Badtz-Maru vs. Hello Kitty

Badtz-Maru has had dreams of greatness for years now.  The fact that he cannot seem to graduate from 1st grade in the Gorgeous Academy has been the one stumbling block to his dream to be the boss of everything.  Badtz-Maru strokes the scales of his alligator, Pochi.  Pochi rolls over unto his back because he especially loves to be scratched on his tummy.  Pandaba calls Badtz-Maru and tell him she has a plan to make him the boss of everything!


Legal Disclaimer:

The author of this post is not responsible for any children who lose their hands because they attempted to scratch the tummy of an alligator at the local zoo!


Pandaba hangs up.  She had been crying alone because the movie Panda Master has done so well in movie theaters and yet another cartoon Panda has upstaged her.  Pandaba has long ago given up being a famous toon and would just be content to be the most famous panda toon.  Later she gave up on this ambition since the Ranma 1/2 anime.  Ranma’s father becomes a panda when exposed to water.  This anime became super popular in Japan and Pandaba just wanted to be the second most famous panda toon.  Now it looks like she will have to settle for being the third most famous panda toon.  Pandaba really likes Badtza-Maru but knows his place in Sanrio Land is second or worse compared to the Kitty and Pandaba is not even the star of the of the Badtz Maru toon. 


Heck even Kitty’s cat Charmmy Kitty is better known than her.  Once again she ponders the paradox of a cat owning a cat and not going to jail for slavery.  Still Goofy the dog has owned Pluto the dog for years, at their arch-rivals land Disney Land, for years longer than Kitty and her cat without any legal problems. 


Pandaba knows more about Disney Land than most Sanrio characters.  She has been in secret negotiations with Donald Duck.  Donald Duck eliminates Kitty.  Pandaba eliminates Mickey Mouse.  Suddenly, the number twos at Sanrio Land and Disneyland are number one and no one is the wiser! Sanrio Land and Disney Land have a long history of difficult diplomatic relations and extradition from one land to the other would be impossible if even suspected.  But they are both just drawn too darn cute for such nefarious acts.  As Jessica Rabbit has said more than once “The way you are drawn is your destiny if you are a toon”


“Still” Pandaba thinks “Badtz-Maru is pretty popular and there are any number of characters in Sanrio Land that are less popular.  There are a lot of losers in Sanrio Land like Deery Lou and Patapata Peppy.”  But there are the serious rivals to Badtz-Maru like Chibi-maru, Chococat, Cinnamoroll, Keroppi Hasunoue, Kuromi, Landry, Little Twin Stars, My Melody, , Picke Bicke, Pochacco, Purin and Spottie Dottie.


Pandaba is especially worried about Chococat.  Pandaba thinks “Chococat might already be number two in Sanrio Land” Chococat was yet another cat and cats seemed to have a special luck in Sanrio Land.  Chococat was spunky and male as opposed to being well mannered and female like Kitty but as far as Pandaba was concerned a cat is a cat.


Pandaba reflected that dogs didn’t do as well as cats in Sanrio Land. Pochaccowas a popular dog.  Cinnamoroll aka, Baby Cinnamon, was even a flying dog but was third tier at best.  That also went for Chococats friend, Cookie-Bau.  Spottie Dottie was also popular.  Purin, aka Pudding Dog, was the probably the most popular dog in Sanrio Land but nowhere near as popular relatively as Pluto or Goofy in Disneyland.”


Rodents seemed to do well in all toon lands.  Mickey Mouse was a rodent and even more popular than Kitty in the toon world although Sanrio Land would never admit this.  Sanrio Land was filled with rodents like all toon lands!


Charmmy was friends with Sugar, a white jungalian hamster who is also Hello Kitty’s pet.  Chococat had Nutz the hamster and Jellybean the bunny as friends.  Unlike other toon lands, Sanrio Land cats and rodents coexisted in a way that would have befuddled Tom and Jerry. 


Rodents in all toon lands got along with other rodents.  My Melody and her rival, Kuromi were rabbit-like if not actual rabbits.  My Melody was friends with a blue mouse named Flat, and an orange squirrel named Risu.  Kuromi has a white rat named Chumi in her gang.  There was Landry the raccoon.  Picke Bicke was a fairly popular mouse.


Sanrio Land canines seemed to have a thing for rodents.  Pochacco the dog had several rodent friends including Choppi a small brown mouse, Guri a grey rabbit, Mogumogu a mole, Mon-Mon a brown flying squirrel and Rachel a skunk. Purin the dog was friends with Muffin the hamster, and Scone the mouse. 


This was ok since in most toon lands rodents and dogs got along in a way they never did in none-toon lands.  Most toons did not believe in none-toon lands but Pandaba was a rare believer.  There must have been creators of the toon world.  The argument that then you had to explain where the none-toons came from was yet another mystery.


Pandaba had often reflected that while Donald Duck was firmly number two at Disneyland there was no clear number two in Sanrio Land.  Getting rid of Kitty might just lead to a Sanrio Land character other than Badtz-Maru becoming number one.  And the fact that Badtz-Maru can’t seem to graduate from first grade had caused Pandaba to question if Badtz-Maru was ready to be the leader of Sanrio Land.


The last reason Pandaba had never taken the negotiations with Donald Duck to the next level was a fear that events might get out of hand and an out and out war between Sanrio Land and Disney Land could erupt.  Sanrio Land only had cute characters and no real warriors.  Sure Disney had plenty of cute toons like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck but they also had fearsome toons like Hercules who could single handily wreak havoc on Sanrio Land. 


Kitty might be the princess of Sanrio Land but in a fight with the Disney Princesses she would be in trouble.  Mulan had military experience.  Pocahontas was pretty buff.  Even nice princesses like Belle, Sleeping Beauty, aka Aurora, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine and Ariel were a lot taller than Kitty.  The Little Sisters were mythical god like beings and probably the most powerful beings in Sanrio Land but how did they compare with Disney gods like Hercules dad Zeus?


Pandaba was very philosophical for a toon!  Getting upstaged by yet another toon panda was the last straw and she had spent hours coming up with a plan by which their gang could take over Sanrio Land once and for all!  Pandaba gorged himself on yet another shumai, a Chinese steamed meat dumpling, to erase her worries and thoughts.


Hana Maru was practicing ball acrobatics when she received the call from Badtz-Maru.  As a seal she has a natural aptitude for such antics but you never know when her current toon job might not work out and she might have to get a job in a toon circus.  Hana Maru was a white seal and figured this might get her the edge in circus work since there weren’t many white seals but still you need to hone your skills just in case.  Hana Maru in turn alerted the rest of the Badtz Maru gang including:  Hanatare Kame, Soga Iruka, Ogawa Same Otto, Nogaki Goroo, Mochizuki Anko , and Kobun.  They would meet in the Gorgeoustown Park near the swings in order to hear Pandaba’s plan.


Next week!  Pandaba’s Plan!


WereVerse Universe Baby!