Daily Archives: June 4, 2008

DC vs. Valiant Universe 9: Magnus, Robot Fighter vs. Karate Kid.

This one is a true doppelganger fight!  Magnus, Robot Figher (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus,_Robot_Fighter) knows super-karate.  The Karate Kid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karate_Kid_%28comics%29) knows super karate.  Both can shatter titanium blocks with a quick karate chop.  Both also live in the future!  Magnus Robot Fighter came first and deserves some credit for this.  Magnus Robot Fighter also has one of the most interesting super hero outfits around.  Matching magenta top and shorts with white boots!  More the sort of outfit you would expect on a go-go dancer rather than a male super hero.  Karate Kid had two outfits and both were pretty bad.  The first one was a dark tan Karate outfit made out of spandex complete with the black belt that was actually brown, I guess to match the rest of the outfit.  The second was some sort of black and white kung fu inspired martial arts outfit.  There was kung fu craze going on at the time.  Karate Kid also knows every martial art of the 30 th century not just on Earth but across the galaxy.  Karate Kid is a member of the Legion of Superheroes and in this universe there is a United Planets.  Magnus lives in a much more insular future were interstellar contact is generally a prelude to alien invasion. The Karate Kid even learned a martial art specially designed to fight aliens like Super Boy. So the Karate Kid has the edge in knowledge of martial arts.

 

However, Magnus has been fighting robots.  Big robots!  Gigantic robots!  Deadly robots!  Magnus has the edge in combat experience and beats the Karate Kid.  Anyway Magnus has the courage to wear white boots and deserves to win.

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 8: Harbinger vs. the New Teen Titans

Harbinger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harbinger_%28comics%29) is a group of teenagers who are “harbingers” of the next stage of evolution which in super hero land always means super powers i.e. what Marvel calls mutants and DC calls metahumans.  The basic idea is that some humans are born with superpowers due to some mechanism of evolution.  I will pit the Harbingers against the New Mutants in one of my Marvel vs. Valiant posts. 

 

The Harbingers include Sting, Zephyr, Flamingo, Torque, Livewire and Stronghold.  Sting is an extremely powerful psionic. Torque has superhuman strength and durability. Stronghold can psionically absorb mass to increase his size and strength.  The girls include, Zephyr who can fly, wow.  Alongside the Fat Fury and Bouncing Boy, Zephyr is one of the few fat do good doers and maybe the only fat girl!  Flamingo can generate and control flame, was a stripper and is gorgeous and sexy as if to make up for Zephyr.  Livewire can control electromagnetic forces and uses a magnetically controlled whip as a weapon. Livewire and Stronghold are a team and were members of the Eggbreakers, evil harbingers, recruited for their propensity for violence and will fight dirty if they have to. 

 

What is interesting about the Harbingers is that many of them are a teen flick type.  Torque is the mechanic with long hair and blue-collar background i.e. an updated greaser.  Stings girlfriend, who has no super powers or combat skills, and kind of a side kick, Kris Hathaway is literally the cheerleader.  Zephyr is the fat girl, a staple of teen flicks if not comic books.  Flamingo (http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Charlene_Dupr%C3%A9)

 is the sexy bad girl in contrast to the good cheerleader and the good fat girl.  Kris is Stings girlfriend. Zephyr (http://www.valiantentertainment.com/wiki/index.php/Faith_Herbert) is the fat girls so of course she does not have a boyfriend.  In many ways the Harbingers are members of the Grease cast with super powers.  Paramount plans to do a movie based on the Harbinger comic book and I think they should hire me as a consultant so I can explore the teen flick angle in greater detail than was done in the comic book.

 

The Teen Titans, like the Justice League and the Avengers, have included a small army of heroes at one time or another.  The commonality of all the members is that they are teens as the name suggests.  However, the core of the “new” Teen Titans for the first twenty issues was Robin, Wonder Girl, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy and Raven before the Teen Titans proved, one more time, that more is not better when it comes to super teams and watched sales plummet in direct relation to the bigger and more complex the Teen Titan roster became. 

 

Sting is the most powerful member of the harbingers and logically would be pitted against the most powerful Teen Titan, Raven (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raven_%28comics%29).  Raven is half human and half demon and derives her powers from her demon father.  The muscle of the Harbingers is Torque and he goes after the strong man of the Teen Titans, Cyborg.  In comic books girls fight girls whenever possible. Starfire fights Livewire.  Wonder Girl takes on Flamingo.  Zephyr flits about the room looking for someone as weak as her in the Teen Titans and decides that this is Robin who is the only Teen Titan without super powers.  The two shape changers match off:  Beast Boy vs. Stronghold.

 

Sting initially tries tossing objects at Raven but she swats the objects back at him with her soul self, a dark energy in the form of a raven or teleports out of the way.  They then switch to blasting at each other.  She alternately uses her soul self as a shield and teleportation to handle the blasts.  He just uses a telekinetic shield. Raven is an empath and senses when Sting is weakened and teleports behind and knocks him out with a blow from her soul self.  Sting goes down. 

 

Cyborg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg_%28comics%29) blasts Torque with a sonic blast from one of the many offensive weapons that he carries.  The sonic blast stuns Torque but he quickly recovers and punches Cyborg through the wall.  Cyborg is amazed at the strength of Torque and realizes he has a fight on his hands.  The two teens trade colossal blows but finally Cyborg is knocked out.  Cyborgs mechanical body is extremely durable but he still has some human parts that are vulnerable when shaken while Torque is durable through and through.  Besides Torque is the father of Magnus Robot Fighter, who has similar powers, and can fight armies of robots with powers similar to Cyborg.

 

Zephyr flies around Robin from 20 feet above and yells “Too bad you can’t fly like a real robin”.  Zephyr is about thirty pounds overweight.  Like most fitness nuts, Robin secretly detests fat people especially fat girls.  His girl friend, Star Fire is as fit as they come, a model, Kory Anders, and did a bikini shot for a major magazine and that issue sold out in a matter of days because of her presence.  Being taunted by a fat flying girl is just too much and he decides girl or not she is going down hard.  Robin casually tosses a batarang at Zephyr’s head and she drops to the floor.  Robin does not bother to run to where she is falling and catch her like her normally would and she makes a pleasant thud as she hits the floor.  Robin rationalizes that a fat gal like that would probably break his back if he tried to catch her from that height but really he just does not like fat girls period. 

 

Kris Hathaway does not engage in combat since she is actually pretty smart even though she was a cheerleader.  Kris has been watching the fight and decides it’s time to talk to Robin.  Kris is very cute, approaches Robin and castigates him for taking out Zephyr in such an extremely brutal manner.  Kris tells Robin in her snootiest tone that he is supposed to be a hero and heroes don’t toss batarangs at girls and let them fall from twenty feet without even trying to catch them.  Robin knows what Kris says is true and does not bother to answer and just looks down at his green clad feet.  Robin also finds Kris, the wholesome girl next door, type a welcome contrast to the exotic beauties he is normally around. Starfire, his girlfriend and Wonder Girl are great gals but both have super strength and no matter how many pushups he does, they will always be a thousand times stronger than him.  Raven was half demon and he wouldn’t have sex with her on a bet even though she is gorgeous and Robins is a normal healthy red blooded teen male.  Robin thinks, this Kris girl could hug me with all her might and I wouldn’t have to worry about my rib cage being crushed like tooth pick. 

 

Robin loves Starfire but all her superpowers often make him feel inadequate and she wasn’t a virgin at all when he got together with her.  Worse she had been forced into interplanetary sex slavery by her evil sister in her solar system and had experienced the vilest treatment from a long line of alien masters which made Robin have sympathy for her but also made him wonder how he compared to all the aliens Starfire had encountered.  Kris can see that Robin looks bad and asks him for his first aid kit in his belt so she can help Zephyr out as best she can.  Kris starts to administer first aid to Zephyr who has a really bad gash across her forehead.

 

Robin walks away and mutters under his breath something about how super humans always assume someone without superpowers is the weakest member of a super hero team when in fact he is probably the most resourceful member of the Teen Titans. Robin thinks “I am after all their leader.  I was the only one who was not taken down by Deathstroke when he attacked the Teen Titans with help from the traitor Terra.  blah, blah, blah” 

 

Starfire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfire_%28comics%29) has super strength, invulnerability, the ability to fly and can fire starbolts from her hands.  Starfire can also learn any language by kissing a person who knows that language but Starfire is the girlfriend of Robin in the time period this fight is set and besides does not kiss girls.

Starfire is probably the most exotic beauty of the DC Universe.  She comes from another planet and has bronze skin, not tanned but bronze, green eyes minus pupils, long, brown, full, curly hair that comes to down to her knees and wears an swimsuit type outfit, lavender colored to go with her eyes that shows off every curve and especially her ample bosom with a plunging top.  Robin is one lucky teen age guy!  Livewire wraps her metal cable around Starfire’s arms.  Livewire has a dominatrix side and watching Starfire in bondage is starting to turn her on.  Starfire ignores the metal whip and flies into Livewire’s stomach headfirst knocking her out.

 

Wonder Girl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonder_Girl) has all the powers of Wonder Woman but to a lesser extent and was adopted by Wonder Woman in of many versions of her origin.  These powers include super strength, flight, invulnerability and a golden lasso, which does not have the power to force people to tell the truth, unlike Wonder Woman’s.  Wonder Woman flies out of the range of Flamingo’s flames and lassoes her from above and swings her around the room and bangs her against a wall knocking her unconscious.

 

Beast Boy, also named Changeling, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_Boy) is green skinned permanently and kind of short as well.  Beast Boy fell in love with the traitor Terra but she just used him.  Beast Boy is surrounded by three gorgeous gals that have no interest in a short green skinned guy and is pretty frustrated.  Beast boy can turn into a green skinned version of any animal.  There are limits to how big an animal he can become.  Beast Boy once had his strength augmented by Amazonian by science on Paradise Island, the home of Wonder Girl, and became an out of control brontosaurus but generally the biggest animal he can become is an elephant.  

 

Stronghold starts to grow and Beast Boy turns into an elephant and charges into Stronghold but Stronghold is already twice the size of an elephant by the time Beast Boy slams into Stronghold.  Stronghold easily tosses Beast Boy aside.  Beast boy turns into a humming bird and flies into the ear of Stronghold and hits his inner ear knocking him unconscious.

 

Raven, Starfire, Robin, Wonder Girl and Beast Boy all gang up on Torque.  Robin offers him the option of surrender and he tells them to go to hell.  Robin is secretly pleased.  The fight with Zephyr was a fiasco and beneath him and he feels a little guilty about his behavior towards her.  Wonder Girl binds torque with her lasso while Starfire blasts him. Raven blasts him as well.  Robin tosses a batarang at him for good measure. The batarang toss probably wasn’t needed but tossing a batarang around always makes Robin feel better not as good as Starfire can but close.  Torque is tough but not that tough and goes down.  DC wins the battle of the teens! 

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 7: H.A.R.D. Corps vs. OMACSs

The H.A.R.D. Corps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.A.R.D._Corps) are a group of Vietnam vets that are US government operatives.  They can download super powers as needed.  They can download one of the following powers:  So, the H.A.R.D. Corps are sort of like ultimate universal soldiers.

 

Airborne – The user can fly.

Arc Charge – The user can generate electrical energy.

Decoy Mode – The user can create illusions such as holograms

Detonation Mode – The user can cause explosions.

Forcefield – The user can generate a forcefield that completely encases the user and protects the user.

Ghost Mode – The user can become intangible.

Grenade Mode – The user can throw energy grenades from their hands.

Inivisibility – The user can become invisible.

Invulnerability – The user cannot be damaged but can be knocked out.

Jolt Mode – The user can administer an adrenaline jolt that counters soporifics.

Neural Spike – The user has the ability to throw spikes that attack the nervous system.

Shield Mode – The user can create an energy shield.

Static Mode – The user can disrupt communications and transmissions.

Strength Mode – The user has superhuman strength.

Strobe Burst – The user can generate a blinding flash of light.

Stun Ram – The user can project a ray of concussive force.

Sunburst – The user has the ability to fire flame blasts from the user’s hands.

Tsetse – The user can put someone to sleep with a touch.

Ultra-Mass – The user can increase their density.

 

This is quite a list of super power!  The main weakness of the H.A.R.D. Corps is that they can only download one power at a time and rely on a headset to radio such requests.  They members do carry fire arms.

 

The OMACs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OMACs) are humans that have been forced into being transformed into being OMACs by the evil computer OMAC.  The OMACs can also download superpowers and can use several powers at the same time.  They are also protected by a cybernetic shell and can turn their hands into blades or pincers.  Batman built this computer by the way before it went out of control.  Batman obviously never watched HAL in action in 2001 Space Odyssey.  OMAC the computer can turn a human into an OMAC in seconds and created hundreds if not thousands of OMACs to take over the Earth. 

 

The US government has to put in a brain implant to create a H.A.R.D. Corps member.  The OMACs are created via a nanotechnology virus so the OMAC computer will be able to whip up a thousand OMACs before the US government can create one H.A.R.D. Corps member so in a drawn out war the OMACs will win through sheer weight of numbers but what about an equal number of H.A.R.D. Corps members against a equal number of OMACs?  The H.A.R.D. Corps group generally consists of four members including Gunslinger, Shakespeare, Maniac and Hammerhead.

 

The four OMACs square off against the four H.A.R.D. Corps members.  The OMACs are kind of mindless automatons with very limited reasoning ability. H.A.R.D. Corps on the other hand are smart guys with tons of combat experience.  They figure the OMACs are similar to them and they know how they would take out themselves.  Hammerhead uses the static mode to interfere with the OMAC computer transmissions and gunslinger shoots the now none powered civilians down with his submachine gun. The H.A.R.D. Corps feel bad about shooting civilians but figure the OMAC computer would quickly figure out some way to get around their static mode.  The OMACs are more powerful than the H.A.R.D. Corps and the static mode trick was their only chance. War is hell as any Vietnam vet knows.

 

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DC vs. Valiant Universe 6: Geomancer vs. Geomancer

Feng shui (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng_shui) is a type of geomancy.  Feng shui is a Chinese art.  A feng shui expert will

advise a client as to the best place to build a building. The feng shui expert uses knowledge of the five Chinese elements as a guide.  The feng shui expert can also tell you how to place objects in your apartment to maximize positive energy flow. 

 

Geomancer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clay_McHenry_%28Valiant_Comics%29) from the

Valiant is the guardian of the Earth selected by the Earth itself.  The Geomancer is a psychic

that can sense disturbances.  In some ways the Geomancer is a super feng shui expert and

therefore well named.  The Eternal Warrior acts as an agent of the Geomancer and good

thing too since the Geomancer has no special combat abilities.

 

The DC Geomancer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geomancer_(comics)) is totally misnamed

and can cause earthquakes.  DC already has the hero Geo-Force (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geo-Force) that can cause localized

earthquakes and fly and blast things.  His illegitimate half sister, Terra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terra_(comics)), infiltrated the Teen Titans in the Judas Contract story line and pretended to be one of them while at the same time working for the super villain Deathstroke (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deathstroke).  Since Terra had no scruples about killing someone she showed how scary this power really could be.  There is Avalanche (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avalanche_(comics)), a super villain, over in the Marvel universe, that has the same earthquake power.  There is no DC character that really has the same power as the Valiant universe Geomancer.  This is a first since DC and Marvel have every super power imaginable covered. 

 

DC even has Arm Fall Off Boy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arm_Fall_Off_Boy) who has the power to make his arms fall off!  This power then leaves him armless and unable to punch someone in a fight.  I suppose if someone grabbed his wrist he could have the grabbed arm fall off and punch the shocked mugger with his other arm.  X-Men III had Wolverine fighting some character who could re-grow his arms after having them slashed off by Wolverine and this power is practical compared to Arms Fall Off Boy.

 

The Valiant Geomancer senses that the DC Geomancer is going to attack him because the

Villain does not like the fact they both share the same name.  Don’t laugh this is the reason Power Man, the villain, attacked Power Man the hero of the same name in the Marvel universe.  Power Man the villain had his butt handed to him by Power Man the hero and must have felt pretty stupid afterwards.  The Valiant Geomancer calls his buddy the Eternal Warrior to act as a body guard.  The DC Geomancer is an obscure third rate villain with an inappropriate name while the Eternal Warrior is the premiere hero of Valiant universe who defeated Batman (https://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/dc-vs-valiant-universe-5-eternal-warrior-vs-batman/) in an earlier post on this site.  The Eternal Warrior dodges an earthquake attack of the DC Geomancer and takes him out with a single well placed punch.

 

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