Monthly Archives: January 2014

20 Common Cocktails

1) Cocktail Recipe Poster

alexander-recipe

Alexander Ingredients

1) Gin or Brandy – 1 ½ oz – 45 ml

2) Crème de Cacao – ¾ oz. – 22.5 ml

3) Fresh Cream – 1 ½ oz – 45 ml

Alexander Preparation

1) Shake all ingredients with ice.

2) Strain contents into a cocktail glass.

3) Sprinkle nutmeg on top and serve.

bloody-mary-recipe

Bloody Mary Ingredients

1) Tomato Juice – 4 ½ Oz – 135 ml

2) Vodka – 1 ½ Oz – 45 ml

3) 2 ice cubes

4) 1 Celery stick

5) Dash of Worcestershire sauce

Bloody Mary Preparation

1) Build the liquid ingredients in a highball glass over ice cubes.

2) Stir well.

3) Add Worcestershire sauce to taste.

4) Garnish with a celery stick.

daiquiri-recipe

Daiquiri Ingredients

1) Lime Juice – ¾ oz – 22.5 ml

2) White Rum – 1 ½ oz – 45 ml

3) 1 Teaspoon of Brown Sugar

 

Daiquiri Preparation

1) Pour all ingredients into highball with ice cubes.

2) Stir gently.

gimlet-recipe

Gimlet Ingredients

1) Lime Juice – ½ ounce – 15 ml

2) Gin 1 ½ ounce – 45 ml

3) Splash of Soda

 

Gimlet Preparation

1) Mix and serve.

2) Garnish with a slice of lime

 gin-an-tonic-recipe

Gin & Tonic Ingredients

1) Tonic – 4 ½ oz – 135 ml

2) Gin – 1 ½ oz – 45 ml

2) 2 Ice Cubes

 

Gin & Tonic Preparation

1) Fill glass with ice cubes.

2) Add gin and tonic.

 harvey-wallbanger-recipe

Harvey Wallbanger Ingredients

1) Galliano Liqueur – ½ oz – 15 ml

2) Orange Juice – 6 oz – 180 ml

3) Vodka – 1 oz – 30 ml

4) Red Cherry

5) Orange Segment

6) Teaspoon Brown Sugar

7) 3 Ice Cubes

 

Harvey Wallbanger Preparation

1) Stir the vodka and orange juice with ice in the glass.

2) Float the Galliano on top.

3) Garnish and serve.

ice-pick-recipe

Ice Pick Ingredients

1) Ice Tea – 10 ½ – 315 ml

2) Vodka – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

3) Lemon Segment

4) 3 Ice Cubes

 

Ice Pick Preparation

1) Put vodka in glass fill with iced tea.

2) Stir in lemon to taste.

joeys-drink-recipe

Joey’s Drink Ingredients

1) Tonic 5 oz. – 150 ml

2) Stolichnaya Orange Vodka – 3 oz. – 90 ml

3) 3 Ice Cubes

4) Lime Segment

 

Joey’s Drink Preparation

Mix Tonic and Stolichnaya Orange vodka in a shot glass.

john-collins-recipe

John Collins Ingredients

1) Soda – 8 ½ oz. – 270 ml

2) Bourbon/Whiskey – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

3) Lemon Juice – 1 oz. – 30 ml

4) Sugar Syrup – ½ oz. – 15 ml

5) Red Cherry

6) Orange Segment

7) 3 Ice Cubes

 

John Collins Preparation

1) Pour the bourbon, lemon juice, and sugar syrup in a glass with ice cubes.

2) Stir thoroughly.

3) Top with club soda.

4) Garnish with orange slice.

 

 long-island-ice-tea-recipe

Long Island Ingredients

1) Splash of Cola

2) Sweet/Sour Mix – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

3) Triple Sec – 1 oz. – 30 ml

4) Gin – 1 oz. – 30 ml

5) White Rum – 1 oz. – 30 ml

6) Tequila – 1 oz. – 30 ml

7) Vodka – 1 oz. – 30 ml

 

Long Island Ice Tea Preparation

1) Mix ingredients in glass over ice.

2) Stir.

3) Garnish and serve.

maragita-recipe

Margarita Ingredients

1) Lime Juice – 2 oz. – 60 ml

2) Triple Sec – 1 oz. – 30 ml

3) Tequila – 2 oz. 60 – ml

4) Salt Glass Rim

5) 2 Crushed Ice Cubes

6) Lime Segment

Margarita Preparation

1) Rub the rim of the glass with the lime slice to make the salt stick to it.

2) Shake the other ingredients with ice

3) Carefully pour into the glass (taking care not to dislodge any salt).

4) Garnish and serve over ice.

mint-julep-recipe

Mint Julep Ingredients

1) Water – 10 oz. – 300 ml

2) Bourbon/Whiskey – 2 oz. – 60 ml

3) 4 Mint Leaf

4) Teaspoon Brown Sugar

5) 4 Crushed Ice Cubes

Mint Julep Preparation

1) Put mint, sugar, and a small amount of bourbon into the bottom of a mixing glass.

2) Gently muddle the mint and sugar, then

3) Let the drink stand for a bit to allow the leaves to release their flavor.

4) Strain and pour into a julep cup (or similar vessel), rotating to coat the sides.

5) Add the rest of the bourbon whiskey.

pina-colada-recipe

Pina Colada Ingredients

1) Pineapple Juice – 2 oz. – 60 ml

2) White Rum – 1 oz. – 30 ml

3) Coconut Crème – 2 oz. – 60 ml

4) 1 Red Cherry

5) 1 Teaspoon Brown Sugar

6) 1 Pineapple Chunk

Pina Colada Preparation

1) Mix with crushed ice until smooth.

2) Pour into chilled glass.

3) Garnish and serve.

 pousse-cafe-recipe

Pousse Café Ingredients

1) Brandy – 1/6 oz. – 5 ml

2) Green Chartreuse – 1/6 oz. – 5 ml

3) White Crème de Menthe – 1/6 oz. – 5 ml

4) Crème de Yvette – 1/6 oz. – 5 ml

5) Yellow Chartreuse – 1/6 oz. – 5 ml

6) Grenadine -1/6 oz. – 5 ml

Pousse Café Preparation

Pour the ingredients carefully into a glass in the order listed to keep the colored layers separate.

rum-and-cola-recipe

Rum & Cola Ingredients

1) Cola – 10 ½ oz. – 315 ml

2) White Rum – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

3) Lime Segment

4) 3 Ice Cubes

Rum & Cola Preparation

1) Pour the rum in a highball glass filled with ice.

2) Top with cola.

3) Garnish with a lime segment.

screw-driver-recipe

Screwdriver Ingredients

1) Orange Juice – 4 ½ – 135 ml

2) Vodka – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

3) 2 Ice Cubes

Screwdriver Preparation

Mix in a highball glass with ice.

stars-and-stripes-recipe

Stars & Stripes Ingredients

1) Fresh Cream – 1/3 oz. – 10 ml

2) Crème de Yvette – 1/3 oz. – 10 ml

3) Grenadine – 1/3 oz. – 10 ml

Stars & Stripes Preparation

1) Layer this drink in a chilled shot glass.

2) Using a cold spoon, carefully pour the ingredients over the back of the spoon into the shot glass.

tequila-sunrise-recipe

Tequila Sunrise Ingredients

1) Orange Juice – 9 oz. – 270 ml

2) Grenadine ¾ oz. – 22.5

3) Tequila – 1 ½ oz. – 45 ml

4) 1 Green olive with red center

 

Tequila Sunrise Preparation

1) Pour the tequila and orange juice into glass over ice.

2) Add the grenadine, which will sink to the bottom.

3) Do not stir.

4) Garnish and serve.

white-russian-recipe

White Russian Ingredients

1) Fresh Cream – 1 oz. – 30 ml

2) Kahlua – 1 oz. – 30 – ml

3) Vodka – 3 oz. – 90 ml

4) 2 Ice Cubes

White Russian Preparation

1) Pour coffee liqueur and vodka into a glass filled with ice.

2) Float fresh cream on top and stir slowly.

 zombie-recipe

Zombie Ingredients

1) De Merara Rum – ½ oz. – 15 ml

2) Passion Fruit Juice – 1 oz. – 30 ml

3) Pineapple Juice – 1 oz. – 30 ml

4) Vodka – 1 oz. – 30 ml

5) Orange Juice – 1 oz. – 30 ml

6) Apricot Brandy – ½ – 15 ml

7) White Rum – 2 ½ – 75 ml

6) Jamaica Rum – 1 oz. – 30 ml

Zombie Preparation

1) Blend all ingredients with ice rum.

2) Pour into glass.

3) Float rum on top.

4) Garnish with a fruit slice.

Hugh Fox III - Beauty

You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on  Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

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Taiwan Faces Dangerous Times!

Taiwan Faces Dangerous Times

The source material is from articles from the US, Taiwan and mainland China and there is a lot of repetition between these studies so I have attempted to focus on different weaknesses in the Taiwanese military position in the different studies.

A) Synopsis of points taken from Brookings Study (2011)

http://www.brookings.edu/research/papers/2011/08/chinas-military-development-yang

This study is a bit dated since the military situation is changing dramatically but still makes some points worth noting.

1) The PLA has vastly improved the military capabilities of its artillery, including missiles, air capabilities, naval capabilities, ground and amphibious capabilities, cyber and electronic capabilities, and enjoys a huge quantitative edge in all these areas and will soon have a qualitative edge as well! The Brookings Study does not mention any dates.

2) China has pursued a policy of befriending neighboring nations that narrows Taiwan’s military options.  I would have to add this policy has been much less effective since 2010 when the report came out and many Asian neighbors now do view China as a potential military threat.  However, I see no attempt by Taiwan to take advantage of this situation as is the case with Japan.

B) Synopsis of points taken from Taiwan’s Defense Ministry (2012) via Reuters. 

I would have loved to get a copy of the actual report in English but couldn’t find it anywhere on the web.  The study was widely quoted in media outlets around the world.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/10/09/uk-taiwan-china-idUKBRE99808Y20131009

3) “In the future, the Chinese military will continue focusing on further integration of its military units, with the expectation that it will be able to resist foreign forces’ intervention in any attack on Taiwan.”

4) “Over the long-term, it will be wholly sufficient to engage in a war over Taiwan by 2020.”

C) Synopsis of points taken from an article in mainland China. 

http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200208/16/eng20020816_101585.shtml

The following article has to be viewed with some suspicion since the line between objective journalism and propaganda often does not exist in newspapers in China but I would say some of the points are valid and very interesting.

5) Wartime ammunition insufficient.  This point has been verified by Taiwanese military reports in the past that I read while I was in Taiwan in the Taipei Times a long time ago!  An almost incredible, surrealistic situation in which Taiwan’s military literally runs out of ammo in days and even hours!  Perhaps steps have already been taken to rectify this colossal weakness.

6) “Many men are afraid of dying” i.e. poor morale on the part of soldiers in Taiwan. I think the article exaggerates the number of desertions that would occur in combat among Taiwanese soldiers.  Taiwanese soldiers are after all trained professionals.   Chinese military thought going back to Sun Tzu puts a lot of emphasis on psychological elements and this article does not disappoint.  There are some interesting points about American psychology that I think are difficult to verify logically but the historical events used to make the points did happen.  There is a place for this sort of “Chinese” analysis and I would like to add a few psychological observations of my own.

D) Personal Observations

Personal observations are extremely subjective and this is by far the weakest evidence in this essay.  However, not everyone has had the experience of living in both China and Taiwan.  I hope my observations are at least interesting.

7) I have taught in China and Taiwan and have dealt with hundreds of Chinese students and thousands of Taiwanese students.  Taiwanese students in general tend to be better educated and more polished than their Chinese counterparts.  However, Chinese students are tougher than their Taiwanese counterparts!  Many schools in China still have a physical education requirement in college.   Chinese students can put up with physical hardship since frankly as a less developed country there is more hardship to put up with.  Chinese students are often ambitious to the point of delusional.  Taiwanese students seem to have given up on life before life has even started.  Chinese students are like Rocky in the Hollywood movie and have a fire in the belly.  Taiwanese students just don’t have that same fire in the belly.

I think calling the current generations of Taiwanese “peaches”, as is common in the Taiwanese press, is an exaggeration but the current generation is softer than their parents and far softer than their grandparents.  I like the softness of Taiwanese but not sure it’s a good quality in soldiers! I am not sure how important this point is in modern warfare but 300 hundred Spartans were able to defeat thousands of Persian but 300 peaches would not fare as well!

8) Based on countless conversations with mainland Chinese students I would have to say that the mainland Chinese are united in their belief that Taiwan is part of China and that they personally would volunteer for such an operation.  When I have talked with Taiwanese students they have consistently expressed the view that war between mainland China and Taiwan as a big joke and basically feel their only hope is US intervention and would attempt to flee the conflict rather than fight or resist China.  I am totally aware that Chinese are more likely to say what is “politically correct” than Taiwanese due to the differences between the governments of both lands.  However, in private Chinese students can be surprisingly honest about what they really think.  Even Chinese who want more democracy in China and do not support many Chinese government policies do agree with the Chinese government when it comes to Taiwan!  One has to say that students are not professional soldiers.  However I do think students are representative of civilians in general in many respects. Based on this limited sample, students, I would have to say China wins in the civilian morale department!

Conclusion

Politics is the art of the possible.  Taiwan realistically has two options in the long run:  peaceful reunification or a war with China that it will surely lose.  Economic integration could buy Taiwan time that could be used to address the issues listed in this paper but I think this is very, very unlikely.

Taiwanese simply lack the Real Politik outlook needed to make the sacrifices needed to prevent reunification.  Taiwan has a truly mountainous center and giant monetary reserves and could study how Switzerland and Finland resisted giant neighbors using mountainous geography.  Taiwan could also study how Israel used a universal military conscription system effectively versus the mockery of such a system that currently exists in Taiwan.  China has the largest army in the world and Taiwan’s current big plan is to have even less soldiers than now in an all volunteer force in the future.

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/front/archives/2014/01/22/2003581842

To paraphrase a rather famous mainlander, “War is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; it cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. The Taiwanese are more refined, leisurely, gentle, temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous than their mainland Chinese brothers and their strengths as humans will be their undoing in war!  This seems to be a recurring theme in Chinese history.  Taiwanese like their low taxes and creature comforts and do not have the will to do what must be done!  In short, Taiwan truly is a paper tiger and a smart paper tiger negotiates before the other side figures what’s up!

The vast majority of Taiwanese do not want to become part of mainland China!  Can mainland China become a society that Taiwanese want to join voluntarily?  Taiwan is part of China legally but can one ethically ignore the desire of the vast majority of Taiwanese to remain separate from a society that has not evolved politically to a level the Taiwanese consider acceptable?

Hugh Fox III - Berry

You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on  Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

WereVerse Universe at Google Drive Link

Chinese Dream and American Reality

Hugh Fox Chinese DreamTo achieve the Chinese Dream by copying the US then….

China must!

1) China must add another political party, and say it’s a democracy even though both parties represent the same special interests.

2) China must give everybody guns.

3) China must create lots of lawyers so everybody can sue each other over the most trivial issues.

4) China must go from having the largest currency reserves to having the largest national debt.

5) China must convert train tracks to freeways.

6)  China must abolish free healthcare.

7)  China must abolish national maternity leave.

8)  China must abolish nationally mandated paid vacation.

9) The Chinese must increase their calorie intake and body fat by 50%.

10) The Chinese must see bicycles as toys for children and not vehicles for adults.

11) The Chinese must have two cars per household instead of mass transportation.  The Chinese must give up small cars for trucks and giant cars that have low fuel efficiency.

12) The Chinese must have everyone live in big houses and not apartments.  The houses must have huge lawns that require tons of water even in the middle of a desert!

13) The Chinese must heat or cool the whole house not just the rooms being used!

14) China must incarcerate 2% of the population (34 million people!).

15) China must expand their military to challenge any country that doesn’t align with Chinese corporate interests while ignoring education and infrastructure at home.

16) The Chinese must spend less time in school.

17) The Chinese must increase the cost of their higher education system so their college students graduate with crushing debt.

18) The Chinese must pick one religion over all others and give this religion special protections and privileges at the expense of all other religions.

19) The Chinese must close down their national government from time to time in order to squabble about political issues.

20) The Chinese must make public educational funding more unequal so that education cannot allow smart but poor students to use education to rise economically.

China and the US are both great countries and both have strengths and weakness.  However, the US is not China’s big brother and the US should accept that China has the right and wisdom to handle its own problems its own way.

Hugh Fox III - Bevel Emboss

My Articles About China and/or Chinese Culture

16 Basic Desires: China versus US

35 Accomplishments of Modern China

36 Stratagems

Acronym for Eight Types of Chinese Regional Cuisine

American versus Chinese Culture

American versus Chinese Culture

Astrology Chinese

Chinese Astrological Analysis of Nations

Chinese Astrology 60 Year Cycle

Chinese Do’s and Don’ts

Chinese Dream and American Reality

Chinese vs. Western Astrology

Confucius in Thailand 2012

Extending China’s One Belt One Road Initiative to Latin America

Table of Chinese Astrology 19th – 21st Century

The 36 Stratagems as Portrayed in Comic Books

Virtual Chinese Reunification Palace

You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on  Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

WereVerse Universe at Google Drive Link

List of Tombstone Generators

Conservative Tombstone poster

Conservative Tombstone poster – Not really a tombstone generator but creates a tombstone within a poster.

Custom Tombstone Maker

Custom Tombstone Maker – The site generates a single type of tombstone but you can vary the inscription.

Design Your Own Headstone

Design Your Own Headstone – Like Tombstone Design, this site is allows you to design an actual tombstone and has many, many options.

Future Gravestone

Future Gravestone Marker – This site has nine different tombstones.

Gravestone Generator – This site does not allow graphic file downloads but instead gives you code that can be pasted into Facebook, MySpace, Tagged, MyYearbook, Friendster, and Hi5.

Oregon Trail Tombstone Generator

Oregon Trail Tombstone Generator – This is the oldest tombstone generator and is derived from the Apple IIe game.  You cannot download the graphic but can share it on Facebook.

Pageplugins – This site generates code that you can put in your website instead of a jpeg file.

Tombstone Design

Tomb Stone Design – You can customize the stone size, color, shape, stand, scripture, and decorations of your tombstone.  This site is designed for you to actually create a real tombstone and then order the tombstone.  The site requests a great deal of information but you can get away with an email and cemetery site that doesn’t have to be real.  The tombstones are then made in China but you can request a local manufacturer.  The graphic is then sent to your email address.

Tombstone Generator

Tombstone Generator – The site generates a single type of tombstone but you can vary the inscription.

tombstonegenerator JJchandler

Tombstone Generator – Jjchandler.com – The site generates a single type of tombstone but you can vary the inscription.

Kicky Pie provides a wide variety of tombstone options!

Hugh Fox III - Bevel Golden

You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on  Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

WereVerse Universe at Google Drive Link

Image

Funeral Crashing Rules

Funeral Crashing Rules by Hugh Fox III

1) Wedding crashing rules don’t apply to funeral crashing.

Wedding crashing is attending a wedding without an invitation.  Since funerals do not require an invitation there should not be such a thing as funeral crashing.  However, because of the movie Wedding Crashers in which the motive of wedding crashing is to meet girls, the concept of going to funerals to meet girls is now referred to as funeral crashing and this behavior is part of the movie.

Weddings are a party.  Funerals are a duty.  Funeral crashing is much, much easier logistically than wedding crashing.  Weddings are expensive affairs and exclusive.  People have spent thousands of dollars for the wedding and don’t want people who don’t belong.  Funerals are “bare bones” affairs when it comes to refreshments, pun intended.  Your presence costs the person(s) having the funeral almost nothing.  No one wants to die alone!  A sparsely populated funeral is also distressing to the family.  No one wants low attendance at a funeral.  In the past mourners, in some places, were hired to attend funerals.  You are much, much more welcome at a funeral than a wedding.

Don’t use an alias as is suggested for wedding crashing but instead befriend the elderly.  You only need an alias if you are doing something wrong.  Do something right instead!  The simplest way to get invited to funerals is to do volunteer work at a nursing home! Do a good job as a volunteer and see funeral crashing as a well earned reward for all your efforts.

You need to focus on the elderly that look like they are going to die soon and have attractive younger relatives.   You can figure out who is going to die by talking with the staff at a nursing home.  Staff at a nursing home does know who is going to die next!  Asking staff that about who is going to die will seem ghoulish so couch your inquiries in the guise of concern about the health of the elderly at the nursing home.  This handles the problem of finding elderly that are going to die soon so you can crash their funeral.  Now you need to weed out the soon to be deceased who have attractive relatives versus those who do not.

When you entertain an elderly person at a nursing home go straight to the photo album.  The elderly love to take a trip down memory lane with their photo album so this should not be a problem.  If the most attractive female relative is unlikely to attend the funeral of the elderly friend due to distance or lack of closeness to your elderly friend then move on to a second elderly target and so on and so on. Funeral crashing target acquisition is an art and you need to be good at spotting photos that are photo shopped and/or out of date.  How the, would be, target looks in a photo album and in real life can be two different things.  Get to the photo album early on so as not to waste time on an elderly friend that has no worthwhile targets at their funeral.

Dump the wedding crashing wing man and go solo for funeral crashing!  The only reason you need a wing man for wedding crashing is to establish credibility because you are using an alias and no one recognizes you.  Not only will everyone at the funeral know who you are but you will have a reputation as the fine young man who helps old people!

You can’t trust other people, even wing men, with the delicate task of funeral crashing.  Funeral crashing is even more taboo than wedding crashing.  For various reasons people think that taking advantage of human weakness at a funeral for sexual pleasure is not a nice thing to do to women!  Never, ever tell anyone what you are up to.  Stick to your cover story that you care about the elderly and have no ulterior motives no matter what.  Only a mind reader can say you have ulterior motives in the case of funeral crashing done correctly.  The truth is that if you follow the rules of this article then you will never be challenged.

Use social media.  Do set up a Facebook account for your elderly “friend” if the elderly friend doesn’t have one and then get the elderly friend to friend you and then you can in turn friend the primary target.  You can also use traditional media to get as much information about the primary target as possible.  Print media may have professional information and especially academic information such as publications by the primary target that will be useful in creating rapport with the primary target.

When the elderly friend dies then you can send a message to the primary target via Facebook offering condolences.  This establishes a relationship before the funeral has even started.  At the funeral tell the primary target that the elderly friend talked about her all the time.  The favorite topic of all humans is themselves and this is especially true of women.  The target will be curious about what the elderly friend said about her and of course this was all complimentary and insightful.  You are offering her insight to the target about herself from a wise old person from beyond the grave!  The better your narrative, the more likely you will score later.  Do spend time writing a two page story of her as told by the common elderly friend.  The elderly friend of course saw heroic qualities in the target that no one else saw and never expressed her thoughts to the target while she was alive!  All women think they are heroines in a soap opera at some level and confirming this suspicion means that she will want to be around you to hear the whole story.

I recommend using a monomyth structure.  From Wikipedia, “Joseph Campbell’s monomyth, or the hero’s journey, is a basic pattern that its proponents argue is found in many narratives from around the world. This widely distributed pattern was described by Campbell in The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949). An enthusiast of novelist James Joyce, Campbell borrowed the term monomyth from Joyce’s Finnegans Wake.  Literary skills will help with this narrative.  Writing a poem or song about a woman is one thing but an epic saga of her life is much more interesting for the target.

I have a basic monomyth template that I use and I then fill in the blanks as needed.  Never, ever let anyone get a hold of your template!  This is a top secret document.  If you say the story orally then you will naturally vary the story from target to target as you improvise.  If the target ever gets a copy of the template or even the completed template then she will realize that something is up.  You can always claim the completed template was written for her and was going to be a present in the future.  The incomplete template is harder to explain.  If two different targets can compare their completed templates then you will stand revealed as a funeral crasher.  A paper copy of the monomyth template is a bad idea.  Store your template on your smart phone where you can refer to it in the toilet as needed.  Make sure your smart phone has up to date data security features.

You can store your template on Google Drive so now the target has to get past your cell phone password followed by your online user name and password.  You may want to create a totally separate Google account for funeral crashing.  Do not store your template on the hard disk drive of your computer since women do like to snoop and are increasingly computer literate.

Wedding crashing is a shotgun approach for pretty boys.  Funeral crashing is a sniper approach for literate intellectuals.  The vast majority of attendees at a funeral will be old and not suitable targets as opposed to a wedding with all those bride maids.  You need to target selectively at a funeral.  Now if a target of opportunity happens to show up to the funeral well then blast away but realize you won’t have the advantage of the monomyth that is a key part of successful funeral crashing.

2) Understand the five stages of grief.

The five stages of grief are (1) Denial, (2) Anger, (3) Bargaining, (4) Depression, and (5) Acceptance.  When the primary target loses a grandmother or grand aunt or whatever then she will be in one of the five stages of grief.  You want to be one stage behind the primary target.  That way the primary target can console you by understanding what you feel.  The fact that the primary target understands your feelings and is helping you out will bring out her maternal instinct and she is more likely to hug you when you cry.  Women are at their most sexual in stages (2) Anger and (4) Depression. An angry woman is sexual to vent her anger.  A depressed woman is sexual to feel alive.    The sex will be hotter if she is in stage 2, anger but sex is more likely if she is in stage 4, depression.  Either way, she is primed for the crying jag to grope session (CJTGS) that is dealt with in the next section of this essay.

3) Understand the mechanics of CTGS.

The first step to successful CTGS is successful crying!  Great actors dredge up sad memories in order to cry.   Mediocre actors use the staring method.  The staring method as the name suggests consists of staring until moisture gathers in your eyes that seem like tears.  Last but not least, you can use menthol to cause your eyes to water.  You will need to visit the rest room to use the menthol but people often go to the rest room to hide their tears so this makes perfect sense.  You can use the same break to look up the targets monomyth on your cell phone.

Crying is not just tears.  Watch great actors crying and study how they cry.  You want to develop macho crying.  You are filled with grief but are holding your grief inside.  One or two tears show up and you do not acknowledge them but your body language tells a different story.

You don’t want to cry in public.  You want to slowly lure the primary target from the crowd while using tidbits of the monomyth about her to lure her to some other part of the funeral home and then cry. Basically you are a bard using modern psychology to lure the damsel into your castle.   Funeral crashers need monomyths as well.  You have a choice of many rooms in a funeral parlor.  There should be more than one chapel.   You could use a chapel that is not in use but chapels are a bad idea since the religious overtones cause the target to experience guilt in many cases.  Guilt on the part of the target can interfere with the CJTGS process.  A funeral parlor will have at least one lounge.  The problem is that lounges are busy places and you never know who will interrupt your CJTGS.  Funeral parlors also generally have more than one reception area.  You best bet is to pay attention to the funeral parlor schedule and try to get her into a reception area that is not being used during the period of your target funeral.  The reception area resembles a very tasteful living room and will have at least one plush sofa that can be used as part of the CJTGS process.  When you start crying then the primary target will try to comfort you by hugging you and that’s when you slowly but surely start touching other parts of her anatomy so grief turns into sexual arousal.  Again if she is in the anger or depression state of grief sexual arousal is more likely but in general humans respond to grief by looking for intense pleasure whether it be alcohol, drugs or sex.  You are there to provide sex to the target when she really needs it!

Another place for turning a crying jag into a sexual situation is behind a mausoleum with a good view at the cemetery rather than the funeral parlor.  The mausoleum is harder to get to but more privacy is available and the chances of being interrupted are much lower.  The front of a mausoleum looks like a mausoleum and this is creepy.  The back looks like a wall.  A mausoleum back that faces a lake, and/or forested area can seem to be like a park rather than a graveyard.  Going into the mausoleum is just too creepy.  As you do more and more funeral crashing, you will get to know the geography of the various graveyards and will be able to find the perfect area for CJTGS with the primary target.  You are looking for a place that is isolated and picturesque in the cemetery.

You will probably not get to third base at the funeral home or the cemetery but given that you are probably already Facebook friends, you can contact the primary target and pretend that you want to just talk at someplace nice like a restaurant so that the two of you can deal with your grief together.  Obviously your place or her place is better than a restaurant.  Again, humans often use sex to distract themselves from grief.  You have already set up the ground work during the CJTGS at the funeral or cemetery so if she comes to your place or you go to her place then there is a very high probability that the relationship will be consummated.  Grief is fleeting so the window of opportunity for turning grief into sex is a limited one so too many talks at a restaurant i.e. dates may mean less sexual opportunity.  On the other hand, the common experience of the funeral, and you narrating her, very own, personal monomyth, is very powerful and may lead to a more serious relationship in the long run.

You can be a seven and get an eight via wedding crashing.  Generally you can only get a girl half a point higher than your own score under normal circumstances so wedding crashing has its advantages.  The party atmosphere of a wedding aids your stalking but ignores female psychology.  Funeral crashing is a more precise and more powerful type of stalking and a six might be able to get a nine as a wife using the techniques outlined in this essay!

According to John Gray in Venus and Mars on a Date, women go from emotional intimacy to sexual intimacy as opposed to men who go from sexual to emotional intimacy.  The funeral crashing system uses intense emotional intimacy to go towards sexual intimacy.  Extremely attractive women become inured to sexual advances and faux emotional approaches that are too general to be effective.  Extremely attractive women are being hit on all the time and making advances at a wedding gives you an only marginal advantage.  If you are average looking and want a nine, tens only exist in movies, then you will need an extra precise approach.  You need to be more intelligent and patient using the funeral crashing system than the wedding crashing system but the ultimate rewards make this system more worthwhile than wedding crashing.

One final cautionary note, if you find your future spouse via funeral crashing then you will probably find a mate that is considerably more attractive physically than you would have minus a stalking system.  Whatever you do never, ever, tell the primary target about your funeral crashing system.  Even if you are married thirty years then this has to be a deep dark secret you take to the grave if you want to stay married.

Hugh Fox III - Big Bright Bold

You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on  Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

WereVerse Universe at Google Drive Link