What if Comics 1: The Saga of Bouncing Boy

Bouncing Boy is a member of the Legion of Superheroes of the 25th Century in the DC Universe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bouncing_Boy). 

Bouncing Boy drank some super plastic because he thought the drink was a soft drink and gained the power to become a giant bouncing ball.  This is not even the lamest super power for a member of the Legion of Superheroes.  I think this honor belongs to Matter-Eater Lad (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matter-Eater_Lad) who can eat any form of matter.  Mostly he eats the bars of the cell when you need to get away.  He also eats blasters but why doesn’t he get killed approaching the guy with the blaster and isn’t a martial arts move a much better way to disarm someone than to grab the blaster and start eating it?  At least Bouncing Boy can dodge blasters and slam against opponents with enough force to knock them out.  Bouncing Boy also has some immunity to electricity since he’s not grounded when in the air and showed this ability when helping Saturn Girl against a bad guy with electric mitts on his first mission. Bouncing Boy is arguably the first super hero who is fat and not a parody like Herbie, who was the Fat Fury.  Blue Beetle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Beetle) of the International Justice League would be the second fat super hero almost 30 years later and he just had a paunch versus being truly fat like Bouncing Boy.


Nevertheless, Bouncing Boy is the butt of many jokes among comic book circles.  I propose a mini-series to restore the honor of Bouncing Boy!


Issue 1 – Bouncing Boy vs. Galactus.  The Legion of Super Heroes tries to stop Galactus from eating a world and is defeated.  Bouncing Boy is the last man standing and decides to go ahead and attack Galactus despite there is no chance he will prevail  Bouncing Boy has shown this gumption before and once fought the fearsome Earth Quake Beast and defeated the monster by accident.  The beast was basically a brontosaurus with tail that could vibrate and cause earthquakes and heck even without the tail who messes with a brontosaurus?  So Bouncing Boy is one gutsy boy!


Galactus finds the attack by Bouncing Boy humorous and turns Bouncing Boy into his jester.  Galactus has had heralds in the past so why not a jester?  Galactus does have a sense of humor and laughed when Hercules tried to get him drunk in the second mini-series of Hercules in the eighties.


Issue 2 – Bouncing Boy and the Cosmic Cube.  Galactus underestimates Bouncing Boy, and we can certainly understand why, and while bouncing around the ship of Galactus, Bouncing Boy chances on a Cosmic Cube (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmic_Cube)  that Galactus was creating for experimental purposes.  This experimental Cosmic Cube lacks the nasty side effect of gaining consciousness and turning on its master.  The Cosmic Cube gives the user absolute mastery over reality for an area about the size of a Earth sized planet and without the nasty side effect would be one heck of a tool.  Bouncing Boy absorbs the power of the cosmic cube and becomes Cube!  Rejecting his former roundness he becomes the opposite.


Issue 3 – Revenge of the Nerds on a Cosmic Scale.  Bouncing Boy, now Cube, goes from planet to planet and makes the nerds into heroes and the heroes into nerds.  The entire DC and Marvel Pantheon of Heroes is mobilized to fight him but he defeats them.


Issue 4 – Cosmic Justice.  Galactus allies himself with the Watcher to get his former jester under control.  The Watcher assembles Death, High Father and Shazam to fight Cube and Cube is defeated.  Cube is relegated to his former role as a jester for Galactus but while pretending subservience thinks to himself that he will bide his time but one day he will rule the universe.  This allows for a second Bouncing Boy mini-series if the first one does well.  Now here’s the kicker all the comics are round!  & A mandala type panel structure is used (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala)!  Arrows guide the reader from panel to panel!  Maybe different artists submit different mandalas.  Maybe put the whole mini-series in one magazine sized comic book or maybe even bigger.

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2 responses to “What if Comics 1: The Saga of Bouncing Boy

  1. Nah, I’m not against superheroes at all, be their powers awesome or…less than such. I just found that late at night and it made me laugh.

    I completely support your endorsement of Bouncing Boy – have no fear!

  2. On behalf of Bouncing Boys everywhere I thank you.

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