Today commemorates two separate events that occurred on the same date 45 years apart, during the Buddha’s lifetime 2,500 years ago. The first event was the coming together of 1,250 monks from all locations and directions, to meet and be ordained by the Buddha. This event occurred seven months after the Buddha began his teaching. The second event, which occurred 45 years later, was the Buddha delivering his teachings shortly before his death. Both of these events occurred on the day of the full moon of the third lunar month, a month known in the Buddhist Pali language as ‘Makha’. The ‘Bucha’, also a Pali word, means to venerate or to honor. Thus, Makha Bucha Day is for the veneration of Buddha and his teachings on the full moon day of the third lunar month.
Makha Bucha Day represents a great deal in terms of the development of Buddhism in Thailand. It is a highly ceremonial event and in Thailand it’s an event that was only recently revived as part of Thai Buddhist tradition. The Supreme Patriarch of the Marble Temple in Bangkok, Kittsobhana Mahathera, did this in 1957. Before 1957, the full moon day of the third lunar month was celebrated as a Buddhist Holy Day. Because of local ceremonies that occupied this day in different parts of the country, the Makha Bucha ceremonies today take on the different flavors of the various locales.
At this time in the evolution of Buddhism and Buddhist principles in Thailand, it is important to understand how the majority of Thai people view Buddha and the Buddhist philosophy.
This is my first and only novel. The novel is science fiction and deals with topics as diverse as postmodern Buddhism and the reunification of China and Taiwan. The novel can be downloaded at no cost at:
I want to welcome Animal Man (DC) and She-Hulk (Marvel) to my humble blog. What many comic book readers may not be aware of is that both characters share a very unique super power. Animal Man and the She-Hulk possess metafictional awareness. They are aware of the fact that they are comic book heroes and that they inhabit a comic book reality and from time to time have broken the fourth wall that separates reader from fiction.
Hugh Fox: Let me start with the She-Hulk. What’s it like knowing you are a comic book character?
She Hulk: First of all I didn’t always know I am a comic book character. I first possessed metafictional awareness during the run of the Sensational She-Hulk by John Byrne. That was a blast. I got into arguments with John. I could tear up the page. I could walk through advertisements. I could even make appeals to John’s Editor, Renee Wittstaetter. She even bound and gagged John and locked him in a storage closet in the issue #50 which unfortunately was also the last issue. I did not have metafictional awareness prior to this series. When I acquired metafictional awareness I read my earliest title run the Savage She-Hulk and can’t help but think what a dope I was back then and for the record I am not drawn very well and the plots aren’t very good either. The creators of the Savage She-Hulk also neglected my potential sexiness. Come on I can be really hot. John was great and I thank him for making me a sexier character and a more aware character than I had been previously. There are some good points about the Savage She-Hulk. I am proud to point out that I was the last Marvel creation of Stan Lee perhaps the greatest comic book creator ever. Stan Lee was assisted in my creation by John Buscema.
Hugh Fox: You have had metafictional awareness in recent years as well as I recall.
She Hulk: This happened years after the cancellation of John’s run. In 2004 the series titled simply She-Hulk was launched and I kept my metafictional awareness in that series which I am sad to say came to an end in 2009. I would like to make a plug for the graphic novels that collect my adventures of that run. The first volume is titled Single Green Female, the second volume is Superhuman Law, and the third volume is titled Time Trials. I especially liked how I could go to the long boxes in that series and get answers to problems.
Hugh Fox: I am not sure I know what you are referring to.
She Hulk: The law firm I worked for had long boxes of every Marvel comic book ever published and the boxes basically acted as a database I could use.
Hugh Fox: Knowledge is power!
She Hulk: You better believe it. I could also use other long boxes due to my metafictional awareness. Let me give you one example. I visited NYC Comics and found the key to defeating Titania who had potentially infinite super strength at the time. Titania was wearing a really hot dominatrix type outfit at the time that really showed of her legs which I have to admit are pretty good. Great cat fight by the way. I even had my Jupiter suit torn to shreds by Titania in that fight. Fortunately, I was wearing a sexy white and purple Lycra gym suit underneath. I am amazed that series got cancelled since you would assume guys who buy comic books would love a good cat fight. I mean sex sells doesn’t it?
Hugh Fox: Are you saying you don’t mind being a comic book sex object?
She Hulk: I like being alive and if some sex is needed to keep me alive then so be it but I am so much more than just a sex object. My overt sexuality is just one side of my character. I see myself as kind of a Sex in the City character in the Marvel Comics New York. My career as a lawyer for super humans was a major plot line in my last series and I had very complex soap opera type relationships. I mean my poor cousin the Hulk just runs around smashing stuff and has dialogue like “Me Hulk, me smash puny humans”. Ninety percent of the time he is running around in the same torn purple pants. I mean who ever heard of purple pants for a man? I mean it’s a great color for a woman but a man? They gave a similar torn type wardrobe in the cover of issue one of the Savage Hulk series which did nothing for my figure but in the later series I got to wear all sorts of great corporate but sexy outfits as a lawyer. My superhero outfits were great as well.
I especially liked my form fitting lycra Fantastic Four uniform. I didn’t care for the Jupiter Suit that I mentioned which was more a space suit than anything else even though I did get to change the color from yellow and green to white and purple, my trademark colors but of course the Jupiter suit only existed to be torn away later in my fight with Titania.
Hugh Fox: You are pretty quiet Animal Man. What are your thoughts about having metafictional awareness?
Animal Man: I am glad someone enjoyed having metafictional awareness! My own experience has been very different that of the She-Hulk and quite terrible. Like the She-Hulk, I did not have metafictional awareness during my early years. I first appeared in Strange Adventures in 1965! That makes me a lot older than the She-Hulk and for the first twenty years of my existence I was a third tier super hero with no metafictional awareness whatsoever and wandered in and out of comic book limbo.
Hugh Fox: Comic book limbo?
Animal Man: I don’t know how it works in the Marvel universe but in the DC universe when your series is cancelled, and you don’t make any guest appearances in other titles then you end up in comic book limbo. Kind of where the forgotten super heroes go. At least that is the way the place was explained to me by Merry Man of the Inferior Five who was an inhabitant of comic book limbo when I visited the place. Now this brings up a paradox. If he is in a comic book explaining comic book limbo then he is an active super hero and should not be in comic book limbo.
Hugh Fox: I get what you are saying. The Inferior Five were very much inactive superheroes that were totally wiped out during the crisis of infinite Earths but yeah their appearance in a current comic book means they are once more part of the DC continuity. But if you take this logic to its extreme you can’t portray comic book limbo at all and this would destroy what I felt was a very good comic book and plot necessity trumps a paradox in fiction.
Animal Man: Spoken like a creator. Well anyway, in the eighties, Grant Morrison, a Brit was brought on board to DC along other with other Brits like Alan Moore and the Brits where given the task of revamping old and out of date characters like myself. Alan Moore reinvented the Swamp Thing. Grant Morrison decided to reinvent me! If only Alan Moore had picked me instead. The Swamp Thing didn’t have an easy life by any means under the reign of Alan Moore but he got a better deal than me. Grant Morrison was a sadistic and horrible creator!
Hugh Fox: How was he sadistic?
Animal Man: I didn’t receive metafictional awareness all at once but little by little via a torturous plot line that ran around two years. My family got killed. My reality slowly melted around me. I spent time in comic book limbo as I mentioned before, and this was not pleasant let me tell you. The reader was more or less aware of what was going on at least a year before so basically I am not having fun with the readers like the She-Hulk but being manipulated for effect.
Hugh Fox: What do you mean?
Animal Man: I met a character in the Coyote Gospel called Crafty that was a thinly veiled Wile E. Coyote of the Road Runner cartoon series. Crafty made a deal with God, creator like you. God would end the endless cartoon violence of Crafty’s universe if he agreed to enter the DC universe. Grant tortured Crafty over and over again in this sick story. In the end Crafty dies in my arms horribly but is totally unable to communicate why he was in the DC Universe because he is a cartoon character. The reader knows what is going on but I am made a fool of. Was Grant Morrison punished for this evil comic book in the universe of the Creators? No, Grant Morrison got an Eisner Award for Best Single Issue of 1989! There are civil rights organizations, animal rights organizations, and women’s rights organizations. I think there is a real need for an organization to defend the right of comic book characters in order to prevent this sort of injustice!
Hugh Fox: You aren’t real. Crafty isn’t real. You aren’t really feeling pain.
Animal Man: Maybe you aren’t real! Maybe you are just some character in a comic book or movie or whatever. Have you ever thought of that?
Hugh Fox: I am not sure if I am in a virtual reality but I am sure a virtual reality would be more numerological than a non-virtual reality.
Animal Man: Anyway, at the end of this torturous metafictional story line I got to meet my creator, Grant Morrison and he dismissed all my pain and suffering very callously and told me some baloney about the death of his cat. I had my family brutally killed and he is comparing that with the death of his stupid cat! Creators have no perspective whatsoever.
Hugh Fox: I guess if you are going to be a metafictional character you are much better of being in the Marvel Universe than the DC Universe.
She Hulk: Based on what Animal Man has said, I don’t think it’s a universe thing but a creator thing. You get someone like John as a creator and you have a great ride. I have never met Animal Man before this post but if you get someone like Grant Morrison then your metafictional existence is extremely painful. Too bad you can’t pick your creator. I also think being female is a plus since most creators are guys and guys treat female characters better than male characters.
Hugh Fox: You think so? In the DC universe you have had the following terrible things happen to female characters. Stephanie Brown (Spoiler, Robin IV, Batgirl III) was brutally tortured by the Black Mask with a power drill and shot to “death”. In Green Lantern #54 showed Kyle Radner coming home to his apartment and finding his dead girlfriend stuck in the refrigerator.
She Hulk: That’s horrible I hope none of those creators ever get a hold of me.
Hugh Fox: Actually one of your creators, John Byrne was mentioned in a section on the list but this section has since been removed.Yeah there is a whole debate about how female characters are killed and/or tortured in horrific ways in order to generate more sales among the largely teenage male audience. The name for this controversy is called Women in Refrigerators Syndrome. There is an infamous list of examples of women who have been killed or tortured horrifically in comic books. This list was created online by comic book fans in 1999. The list is a work in progress as new comic books come out.
She Hulk: Despite my metafictional awareness, this awareness is strictly limited to the Marvel universe and I had no knowledge of the events you have mentioned. The DC universe sounds like a horrible place for women.
Hugh Fox: Ok you two this a DC vs. Marvel post which is in turn part of a series of such posts on my blog and it’s time for less talking and good old slug fest.
Animal Man: Are you kidding just look at her. She is a female version of the Hulk. Based on the events of War Hulk I would say the Hulk is the strongest being of the Marvel universe. Unlike the She-Hulk I have some knowledge of the Marvel universe. My terrible experiences have made me aware that ignorance is not bliss but a path to suffering and I have expanded my metafictional awareness as much as possible. Besides there are no animals in this post from I can mimic powers from and I do not sense any animal kingdom on this post. That’s my super power readers. For example, if I am around a bird I can fly. I don’t grow wings or anything, I just can fly. I once mimicked the strength of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and that’s about as strong as I have ever been and this is nowhere near She-Hulk levels. And I already know that my super power is totally implausible, even by comic book standards, which is saying a lot, and maybe that’s one of the reasons Grant Morrison decided to pick on me.
Hugh Fox: You want animals? I’ll give you animals. I hereby create the entire animal kingdom on this post. Hey, I have an idea why don’t I get a Kryptonian animal on board? That way you would have powers that equal or surpass that of Superman. Hulk vs. Superman fights are very popular online and this would be a variant of that sort of fight. You absorbed the ability to fire lightning from your face from an alien creature so your ability to mimic alien animal powers is already established.
She Hulk: I don’t know much about this Superman character but if he is strong enough to take on the Hulk then I am not interested.I am not my cousin the Hulk. My cousin took me out with a single blow in the War Hulk series, well he didn’t take me out totally, but I had enough sense to stay down. Look having metafictional awareness means you aren’t as dopey as the superheroes that do not possess such awareness. You get some perspective and with metafictional awareness and are a lot less likely to engage in simplistic heroics or at least that’s the case with me.
Hugh Fox: I am the creator and ruler of this post and I order you two to start fighting. I hereby cause Beppo, the Kryptonian super monkey, to appear so Animal Man can be almost as powerful as Superman just as the She-Hulk is almost as powerful as the Hulk. You won’t have the strength of Superman but you will have the greater agility a monkey has relative to a human. The contest should be interesting.
Animal Man: I evoke “plot plausibility” which even governs creators. Why would two super heroes that have no grudge whatsoever just start fighting?
Hugh Fox: Happens all the time in comic books!
Animal Man: Come on you are a better creator than that!
Hugh Fox: Yeah I suppose you are right but how do we decide which universe wins if there is no slug fest?
Animal Man: Before my family was killed brutally I was a pretty good parent and one way I settled conflicts between my son and daughter was through a paper, scissors, stone contest.
Hugh Fox: Ok I can live with that. It’s got a kind of metafictional dry humor to it that fits this post.
Animal Man and the She-Hulk go ahead and do paper, scissors and stone with their hands and She-Hulk counters Animal Man’s scissors with stone. So DC beats Marvel in this post.
She Hulk: Hey, why did you let me win?
Hugh Fox: First of all I just want to say I love both your titles. I am into metafiction. My novel Half Squareis metafiction. I love comic books so of course I am going to love a metafictional comic book but I prefer your metafictional comic books to those of Animal Man partly partly because of the art if you know what I mean, heh, heh.
She Hulk: So you let me win because I’m hot? Well I can live with that.
Hugh Fox: No, not totally, you are a super smart lawyer and let’s face it Animal Man isn’t too bright and a blue collar guy if I recall correctly. Smarter people do better in games of strategy than dumber people or one would assume.Last but not least you would have some of that female intuition which I think is largely a greater awareness of body language at a subconscious level and that’s important in a game like paper, scissors, stone. I think all things being equal women are more likely to win paper, scissors, stone than men although I have no empirical basis for this belief but think it might be an interesting and funny study.
She Hulk: Well whatever your reasons, thanks. No hard feelings Animal Man. If DC and Marvel ever decide to do another crossover then make sure to look me up. I would love to have a long talk with someone else with metafictional awareness and have to admit I am kind of curious about the DC Universe.
Animal Man: I will definitely look you up. The Avengers/Justice League crossover made a ton of money for both DC and Marvel so I think another crossover is inevitable. I don’t mind losing at all and just glad we ran into a creator that was smart enough to avoid yet another senseless comic book slug fest.
Hugh Fox: Well readers, that’s the end of this post. I think a comic book featuring Animal Man and the She-Hulk having some metafictional adventures as a team could be interesting.
Recently, Lockjaw and various super pets of the Marvel universe had a cosmic adventure in Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers. I am old enough to remember the Legion of Super Pets of the silver age of DC comic books fondly and couldn’t help but notice many similarities. Because of these memories and the recent Marvel title, I was inspired to write this post. Heroic pets have existed in other media. In particular, Lassie and Rin Tin Tin existed in film and television but the invention of comic book super heroes led to the very particular super pet. A super pet is the animal sidekick to a super hero.
Krypto
Probably the most famous super pet is Krypto, Superman’s super dog from Krypton. Krypto has had many solo adventures in DC comic books and even his own animated series on the Cartoon Network that started in 2005. The series is regular who’s who of evil super pets. Some of the evil super pets include the Joker’s hyenas Bud and Lou, Catwoman’s cat Isis, The Penguins trained birds (Artie the Puffin, Griff the Vulture, Waddles the Puffin), and Lex Luthor’s pet iguana Ignatius.
Krypto inspired a whole list of super pets that now appear dated. I think one explanation of why super pets where so popular in that period but not now is that quite simply the median age of comic book readers during the silver age was much lower than now. Younger readers like stories about animals and pets more than older readers. A lot more children’s books are about animals and pets than adult books. The success of Krypto apparently inspired many more DC super pets.
Beppo
Beppo the Super Monkey from Krypto showed up later. Krypto had super intelligence for a dog which meant he had human intelligence on Earth. This in turn means Beppo should be pretty smart, a lot smarter than Krypto, that’s for sure, but we never see any evidence of this difference in intelligence in the Super family stories of the time. The way these two animals show up at Superboy’s doorstep is hilarious.
Jor El, Superman’s father, presumably a great and compassionate man, rockets his sons pet dog into space to test his rocket to Earth! Beppo is also rocketed into the void by Jor El. I think if my dad used my dog for a dangerous experiment that led to the dog’s seeming demise, then I might be a little angry about this. Superboy never shows any ill feelings about his father’s actions whatsoever. I can accept Beppo being hurled into the void since he is a monkey and we assume specifically purchased to test the rocket. Krypto is another matter. Can’t Jor El find some stray dog at the dog pound on Krypton? Jor El has to use his son’s pet dog? Given that Krypto and Beppo have human intelligence you would also assume they would hate Jor El but this point is never brought up either.
Dogs are supposed to have a sense of smell 1,000 times more powerful than a human being. Both Superboy and Krypto have super smell but presumably Krypto’s super smell would be a 1,000 times more powerful than that of Superboy. Superboy fought some pretty sorry villains, mostly petty crooks, compared to Superman, and many times the Super Boy bad guys gave him the slip since he had super powers and they didn’t. Superboy never ever used his own sense of smell to track a crook.
The use of super smell is pretty much ignored during the silver age by both DC and Marvel. A current poll at the Comic Vine puts Superman at the top of the super smell list
One could argue this is a recent development and Superboy did not have super smell but his dog could still be used to track bad guys. Later Wolverine, a Marvel superheroe, will use super smell to pursue bad guys and figure out the true identity of a shape shifter. Mystique, is an enemy of the X-Men, and can change her appearance and thus fool the other X-Men but not Wolverine as demonstrated dramatically in the first X-Men movie. Superboy never used Krypto to track a bad guy down using scent. Instead Super Boy relies one hundred percent on flying around and using his super vision and if the crooks are smart enough to hide in a lead shielded place then they get away.
Steaky
Supergirl later acquired a super cat called Streaky. Streaky was a normal Earth cat that was exposed to X-kryptonite and acquired super powers. Streaky was not poisoned to death but instead became a super cat. Super girl also managed to acquire a super horse called Comet. Comet was not from Krypton but was a centaur turned into a super horse by Circe, the sorceress, and this meant that Comet was invulnerable to Kryptonite. Comet had the power of telepathy unlike the other super pets. Just as a horse is more powerful physically than a man, Comet was presumably more powerful physically than Superman physically. This meant Comet was the most powerful character of the Superman family. Comet as a character is worth analyzing more closely.
Comet
Comet was in love with Supergirl! Comet even had an affair with Supergirl when he was temporarily a man. Supergirl also rides Comet into battle. Interestingly, Superman never rides Comet. I don’t think most men would like to literally ridden by the object of their affections but maybe I am wrong about this. I suppose, sooner or later, the DC Imprint, Vertigo, will do a reboot of Comet or even all the super pets, with more mature themes explored.
The Superman family inspired the creation of a Batman family. Superman is a family guy. Batman is at his best when he is a loner and does not need a Batman family. Batman associates perhaps but not a family. Oh well, they had Batman fighting aliens in the same time period. If Superman has a dog then so must Batman. Batman adopted a dog called Bat-Hound. Bat-Hound was a normal German Sheppard that wore a mask. Actually, Bat-Hound was not the stupidest member of the silver age Batman family by any means. Police use police dogs and Batman is kind of a super policeman and the ability of a dog to act as a hound and follow a scent could be useful to Batman in a pursuit situation. Batman did use Bat-Hound to track criminals using the dog’s sense of smell! Very recently, Batman used the current incarnation of Krypto, who has normal canine intelligence, to track down a crook with his sense of smell. Further proof, if needed, that Batman is smarter than Superman or at least Superboy. Bat-Hound and Streaky did appear on Krypto’s animated series.
Other superheroes of that time period also had super pets but they were extremely minor characters. The Atom had a bird that he rode to battle called Ms. Mina. Aquaman has a regular aquarium of finny friends but I would put the giant seahorses Aquaman and Aqualad rode at the top of his super pet list. This lack of Justice League super pets meant that a Justice League of Super Pets was not possible but the creation of a super pet club was possible using another angle.
Proty II
Superboy and Supergirl belonged to something called the Legion of Superheroes in the 30th century. There were over 20 something legionnaires but only one super pet in the bunch. Chameleon Boy had a super pet called Proty II. Proty II was a big yellow blob that could shape shift. Not much of a super power I supposed but adding him to the Legion of Super Pets meant that club wasn’t exclusively a Superman family club. Proty also had the power of telepathy like Comet. Poor Proty, surrounded by super pets with at least a half dozen super powers and all he can do is shape shift. The situation was probably difficult for Proty to say the least. Supergirl meets a descendant of Streaky, called Whizzy, in her first adventure with the Legion of Superheroes and the descendant can talk unlike Streaky. This character is never seen again but logically a talking super cat would be a welcome addition to the Legion of Super Pets.
Adventure Comics 322
I have included the cover of Adventure #322 above. Comet and Proty are the only two members that have telepathy as a superpower and very appropriately are the only two talking to each other via thought balloons, the comic book version of telepathy. The plaques at the table conference table give Krypto and Streaky names but Comet and Beppo are simply referred to as super-horse and super-monkey and their names are not used. I guess only some pets rate an actual name on their plaque.
Lockjaw
Lockjaw is the leader of the Pet Avengers. Lockjaw can teleport, has super strength, and is a giant. The Avengers consist of Lockheed, Redwing, Ms. Lion, Zabu, Niels the Cat, and Throg. The biggest difference between Lockjaws team and the Legion is that Lockjaw’s team has pets that do not have super powers. The members that have powers are Lockheed, Zabu and Throg. Zabu is a sabretooth lion. Lockheed is a miniature dragon about the size of a cat that can fly, has very tough hide and can exhale fire. Throg is a frog version of Thor and probably has about one tenth the power of Thor or maybe even a lot less. The other super pets are normal animals. Niels the Cat aka Hairball, generates a kinetic energy field, like his owner Speedball, and this means he can bounce around and is super slippery. Cats are pretty slippery anyway so I think catching Niels would not be easy.
Redwing is a hawk that works with the Falcon and at least has super hero experience. Ms. Lion is a rather silly dog that belongs to Aunt May, the Aunt of Spiderman, and would probably get destroyed in a fight with even a normal street mutt. Ms. Lion has ribbons in her hair! However, Ms. Lion did sacrifice her life to save Hairball and was only revived later by the power of the infinity gems. So how would a battle between the Legion of Super Pets and Lockjaw’s Super Pet Avengers turn out? The two super pet teams have both claimed a particular park in the New York as their territory. Krypto and Streaky have clearly marked the park as their territory! The Marvel Avengers try to argue that the park should be open to everyone but Krypto promptly responds human concepts such as sharing territory have nothing to do with animals that live by a different code.
Comet knows what is going to happen next and wants nothing to do with the events that will follow. Comet has known Krypto for years and years and knows that he is ruthless when it comes to defending his territory. Comet, as mentioned, is a centaur in animal guise and has had it hanging around a bunch of animals. Comet is also thousands of years old and is sick of baby sitting the other super pets especially Beppo who he suspects was driven insane by his years alone in space. Beppo is not the only member of the super pets that might have psychological problems. Comet is sick of Krypto’s obsession with dinosaur bones that are obviously rock and not bone. Comet is sick of Streaky getting high on catnip all the time. Comet is sick of being ridden by Supergirl, actually he doesn’t mind that part so much but still. Most of all Comet is sick of how all of them refuse to learn how to use a toilet. The Legion headquarters stinks to high heaven. Comet flies off to a far off planet governed by intelligent horse creatures that have achieved space travel and are more advanced technologically than the humans on Earth. Comet misses Super Girl but when elected king of the planet, due to his many super deeds, gets over it.
The Legion of Super Pets looks at the sorry underpowered Avengers team that is giving them a hard time. All the other animals on Earth have enough sense to treat them like the top dog, top cat or whatever and decide and example needs to be made once and for all. Streaky goes after Zabu the sabretooth and Zabu puts up a valiant struggle but Streaky is about a million times stronger than Zabu and invulnerable to boot. Streaky grabs the back of Zabu’s neck with her teeth and rattles him like a rag dog until Zabu’s neck is broken. Streaky feels a little sorry since Zabu was kind of hot.
Krypto chases Niels all over town and despite superspeed and superflight and super smell has a hard time even touching Niels much less fighting him. Krypto loses interest in the chase and Niels gets away to fight another day. Krypto returns to the park and bites Ms. Lions throat and she promptly dies. Throg zaps Krypto with lightning and the lighting actually hurts due to its magical origin and the vulnerability of Krptonians to magic that may even be higher than that of normal humans. Krypto decides to not take any chances and uses his ultimate weapon, heat vision. Krypto zaps Throg with his heat vision. Even Thor would be in trouble but a frog is especially vulnerable to heat vision. The amphibian quickly dehydrates and dies. Streaky flies after Redwing, the hawk, and swats him out of the sky with fatal results to Redwing.
Lockheed flies towards Streaky and breathes fire all over Streaky. Streaky is grateful since the flames remove a lot of dirt she had accumulated during the battle. Superman uses a super flamethrower at his Fortress of Solitude to clean his uniform and Streaky always thought this was a pretty good idea. Streaky has never told Krypto that she finds his body smell to be too much and wishes he would learn to clean himself with his tongue like she does. Streaky slashes Lockheed throat with her claws and Lockheed bleeds to death.
Proty turns into a bush and avoids the battle. The Avengers don’t have a chance! Krypto tells the rest of his team to hold off on attacking, the leader, Lockjaw since he wants to save that pooch for last. Krypto is going to teach Lockjaw who is top dog once and for all. The Legion surrounds Lockjaw. Lockjaw looks at the mutilated bodies of his friends and vows revenge. Lockjaw teleports the Legion and himself to a Kryptonian style planet and all the super pets lose their powers except Proty. “If only Comet hadn’t abandoned them”, thinks Krypto just before he loses his super intelligence and the ability to formulate full sentences.
Lockjaw has super canine strength in his jaw and at one time locked down on the Thing’s arm and the Thing could not get away. I would estimate Lockjaw is eight feet from nose to tail and probably weighs in excess of six hundred pounds. Basically Lockjaw is a giant bulldog. Lockjaw chomps all the Kryptonian super pets to death. Proty turns into a local shrub in order to hide from the wrath of Lockjaw but Lockjaw as a dog easily sniffs him out and chomps his head off or rather the upper part of his body since Proty doesn’t really have a head. Lockjaw promptly spits Proty out of his mouth since Antareans taste like plastic mixed with detergent. Lockjaw doesn’t mind eating the odd robot now and then but Proty just doesn’t taste good.
The Marvel team wins but a terrible cost!
After I wrote this post Marvel published The Marvel Pets Handbook. The writers of this handbook graciously admit that their “Distinguished Competitor” (DC) had a head start in the super pet area but that Marvel is taking the lead in this category and I have to agree. The handbook includes entries for
Ant-Man’s Ants, Ape, Aragorn, Beasts of Berlin, Bill & Don, Blaze the Wonder Collie, Brightwind, Cerberus, Collector’s Creatures, Cosmo, Cr’ree, Currs, Deuce, Devil Dinosaur, Diablo, Droog, Ebony, Freki & Geri, Frogs of Central Park, Garm, Giganto, Hell Storm’s Demon-Steeds, Hellcow, Hellhorse, Ina & Briri, Kerberos, Kraven the Hunter’s Menagerie, Krill, Lobo, Lockheed, Lockjaw, Man-oo, Max, Mole Man’s Monsters, Monkey Joe, Munin & Hugin, Niels, Nimo, Old Lace, Outcasts, Princess Python’s Pythons, Preyy, Puppy, Red Ghosts’ Apes, Redwin, Saint, Sassafras, Sleipnir, Strider, Tippy-Toe, Toothgnasher & Toothgrinder, Valinor, Valykrior Steeds, Vixen, Watchdog, Zabu, and Zar. There is even an appendix of Cowboy Horses of the West and another appendix of miscellaneous pets. This handbook should really be titled “Marvel Animal Handbook” since the entries go way beyond just super-pets and mention just about every animal that has ever appeared in the Marvel universe and had a name and even some unamed animals.
Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland are two movies that belong to a very specialized subgenre. Both movies are romantic, zombie, comedies. Which of the two is the best movie in this subgenre? This post will attempt to answer this very important aesthetic question. Shaun of the Dead is the first film of this subgenre and as far as I know Zombieland is the only the second film of this subgenre. Humor and zombies have been mixed together before Shaun of the Dead.
George Romero, who arguably started the modern zombie movie craze, as opposed to the prior voodoo zombie movies, with Night of the Living Deadhad no comedic elements in his first film of the his long ongoing zombie series of films. Night of the Living Dead was just one scary film. I remember watching the film as a teenager in a theatre and children in the row in front of me were crying. Night of the Living Dead set a new standard for scary and semi-realistic splatter that was very different from the corny monster movies I grew up with prior to this film.
Night of the Living Dead is a black and white film but the fake blood is still scarier than the bright red blood of many modern horror films. This reminds me that the shower scene in the original Psycho is still one of the scariest horror scenes I have ever seen despite the black and white format. Perhaps our scariest dreams are in black and white and the surreal nature of black and white harkens to deeper fears than any realistic depiction of blood and violence could.
Romero did interject minor humorous elements to Dawn of the Dead but was much more satiric than humorous. Dawn of the Dead was in part a satire about mindless, and therefore zombie like, consumer culture. Romero’s fourth film Land of the Dead followed a similar pattern of satire and focused on government. Diary of the Dead, Romero’s latest film, satirized internet culture and Andy Warhol’s one minute of fame as a goal in contrast to goals of simple survival. Is satire humor? This is a question far beyond the scope of this post. I can say in general Romero’s films do not elicit much in the way of belly laughs and if there is humor then the humor is largely cerebral and will cause a cynical smile to appear on the face of most viewers rather than out and out laughs.
The Evil Deadseries did have a fair amount of physical humor and the last movie in the series, Army of Darkness, is actually quite funny and perhaps because of this not nearly as scary as the first film in the series, The Evil Dead. This seems to be the dilemma of making a good zombie comedy. How do you make a film that is both scary and funny? Shaun of the Dead did manage to do this. Shaun of the Dead is scary. Shaun of the Dead is also a wonderful comment on romantic relationships. Did I mention that I am a big fan of Shaun of the Dead? How does Zombieland compare in these three categories?
Romance
Shaun, of Shaun of the Dead, has been dumped by his girlfriend, Liz, the day before the zombie outbreak. The reasons his girlfriend dumps Shaun’s sorry butt is that he is a loser. Not even a big time loser but the typical average loser we all meet every day. Shaun doesn’t take drugs or gamble. No the problem is that Shaun doesn’t do much of anything. His great crime is that he is a lazy sod, a little British English is appropriate here given the British setting of the film, who is in a dead end job and just goes to the pub on every single date and can’t even be bothered to make a proper appointment at the fish place, presumably a romantic restaurant, as opposed to the smoke and alcohol sodden Winchester Pub that is Shaun’s home away from home because he has no drive or imagination to do anything else. Shaun is as close to being a zombie a human can be.
There is a very clever plot structure where the pre-Z-Day day of Shaun has a parallel structure to the post-Z-Day of Shaun. Shaun has a largely mindless, boring day before the zombies show up and has the same day all over again and even a lot of the same dialogue but with zombies added to the mix. I can only imagine the hundreds of hours spent to create this delicate plot construction. The plot construction makes a message in of itself. This delicate plot construction absolutely does not exist in Zombieland but I don’t think this is such a relevant point except that some of us do watch zombie films again and again, I do not think and I am alone, and this plot structure gives something the viewer can discover over time.
Shaun manages to convince Liz to leave the relative safety of her apartment to go to the pub which is one of the worst places to sit out a zombie attack. The zombies energize Shaun and he becomes a zombie killing machine largely with his cricket bat. The Winchester Pub turns out to have a working Winchester and this is a big deal in England since there is gun control and you can’t just smash the window of a gun store to get some guns and ammo. Shaun’s go to the pub downtown filled with zombies strategy sucks but you can’t fault his strong right arm as he bashes zombies left and right. Shaun manages to get his whole party killed, including his best friend, but he gets the girl in the end so I suppose this is a happy ending. Z-Day is shorthand for zombie day. Z-Day is when the zombies show up.
Liz doesn’t need a lot of excitement post Z-Day since she got her fill of living on the edge on Z-Day. They live happily ever after. Oh, who are kidding? You just know that Liz dumps Shaun’s sorry butt a year after the events of Z-Day since Shaun is and always will be a loser who can’t grow and can’t move on. The ultimate evidence of this is that Shaun keeps his zombified best friend around to play video games with.
The overall satiric message of Shaun of the Dead is that we were practically zombies before Z-Day, Z-Day would give us a temporary rush of adrenaline and the day after Z-Day, nothing would change. I totally agree. This is a much deeper satiric message than some Romero hippy nonsense about consumer culture, government or the internet. Humans are lazy mindless sods regardless of temporary historical conditions that may temporarily energize them and this is the bigger problem and heck you might as well laugh and enjoy the show.
The romance of Zombieland centers on the virginity of Columbus. Columbus finally gets to stroke the hair of his hot female neighbor because she is in a state of shock after being attacked by a homeless man. The homeless man was a zombie and she turns into a zombie and tries to kill Columbus. Columbus has not had a lot of luck in the romance department.
Later, Columbus meets a pair of sisters. The sisters are con artists. The older sister is Wichita. Wichita is the object of the affections of Columbus. This romance is so poorly developed I do not even know where to begin. Wichita is a simplistic femme fatale. The characterization of Wichita is almost insulting to women.
Wichita is supposed to have some trust issues with men that preclude her from even displaying the most basic common sense. We are led to believe the two sisters are smart enough to be major con artists and wrap men around their little fingers with their feminine wiles but are not smart enough to realize they want to keep the muscle, the men, around for protection. Wichita is not even consistently an idiot.
The dialogue between Columbus and Wichita is forced, cliché and pure Hollywood. Wichita is just too hot for Columbus and maybe since he is practically the last man on Earth you might buy the hook up but barely. You never really believe the romance between Columbus and Wichita. The relationship is pure Hollywood were the loser everyman gets the hot chick. This is a type of wish fulfillment for the loser male audience and guarantees ticket sales. Some explanation of Wichita’s trust issues might have made her a more believable character but this is doubtful.
The younger sister, Little Rock, is even more one dimensional than Wichita. She is twelve and apparently smart to do, as mentioned, cons but she has never heard of Willie Nelson, Gandhi, or Bill Murray. I guess this level of ignorance is supposed to be funny. I didn’t laugh.
The sisters are supposed to be smart enough to get the drop on a super zombie killing machine, Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson, twice but dumb enough to believe an amusement park is free of zombies because of a rumor. The sisters are so stupid that they turn on all the lights and sounds of the amusement park at night! I guess the idea of scouting the amusement park during the day quietly is just too clever for a couple of dumb females. Predictably turning all the lights and sounds on attracts an army of zombies from miles around. The men must come to the rescue and Columbus gets the girl in the end because of his act of bravery which violates his rule about never being a hero. The women in Zombieland are furniture that have barely more characterization than the zombies. The women are objects created to make the fight scene in the amusement park happen.
I found the men in Zombieland believable and really liked the description of Columbus as a nerdy, neurotic, shut in that has survived because of his ticks. Woody Harrelson does a fantastic performance as a red neck zombie killing machine. Columbus and Tallahassee are a classic Hollywood odd couple that is predictable but works.
Shaun of the Dead clearly wins over Zombieland in the romance category!
Zombie
There are major differences between the Shaun of the Dead zombies and the Zombieland zombies. The biggest difference is that the zombies in Shaun of the Dead are slow zombies. The zombies in Zombieland are fast zombies. Romero zombies are generally slow. They shamble and if you cannot outrun a Romero zombie then you need to stop going to McDonalds forever. The Shaun of the Dead zombies are even slower than the Romero zombies. I mean these guys just crawl. Snails are whizzing past the Shaun of the Dead zombies.
Fast zombies first gained prominence in 28 Days Later. There had been fast zombies in the horrible, atrocious, criminally liable, stupid, bad, stinky, remakes of the Romero zombie films, films that never should have happened, but no one really watched those films so they don’t count. 28 Days Later is a great film and in the top ten of zombie films of all time, the less said about the sequel the better, and the fast zombie introduced added something special to zombie films. I am Legendcame after 28 Days Later and had even faster zombies that were also super strong and super agile. However, if you make the zombies too fast and too strong then you have to wonder how humans could survive at all.
I would like to make the following plot observation about fast zombies and slow zombies. Slow zombies allow the smart, but not necessarily physically fit, everyman to shine. Dealing with slow zombies is more about having steady nerves than being physically fit. You got to be in really good shape to handle fast zombies. How many cerebral but not necessarily fit heroes are out there? Grissom, of CSI: Las Vegas? Dr Who? Not many. As a smart, debatable, but not very fit, guy I like smart and less fit heroes. I think there are a lot of guys like me out there and if you are planning to write a zombie screen play, keep this in mind.
Slow zombies also allow a lot more dialogue! Shaun of the Dead characters have tons of time to yak and yak and fortunately the conversation is marvelous. Shaun would be dead in Zombieland. Shaun has a paunch and has not done anything more challenging than lift a pint of beer in years and would be easily caught by a fast zombie.
A big part of zombie lore is the ongoing argument about rules of survival.The apex of this sort of argument is the book The Zombie Survival Guide. Shaun of the Dead breaks just about every zombie survival rule for comedic effect. Shaun does not stay put as instructed by the government via television. Shaun abandons the more fortified, second story, and isolated position of the apartment of Liz for a less fortified, first story and exposed position in a pub downtown. Shaun wants love not survival and gets love at the expense of the survival of everyone on his team but this girlfriend.
Zombie rules of survival play a more prominent role in Zombieland than in Shaun of the Dead. The premise of Zombieland is that Columbus has developed a series of rules that have enabled him to survive and are referenced throughout the film. I find the rules that Columbus has created are funny but not very useful and will deal with this in a later post.
The zombies in both movies are not exactly Romero zombies. Zombieland zombies suffer from some sort of mad cow disease that was contracted by patient zero via a hamburger. In this regards the Zombieland zombies resemble the diseased zombies of 28 Days rather than a classic Romero zombie. This also means that body shots can work on Zombieland zombies. Also, if someone dies in Zombieland then they are not infected and they do not automatically become a zombie. The Shaun of the Dead zombies are slow but only destroying the zombie brain kills a Shaun of the Dead zombie. The origins of the Shaun of the Dead zombies are slightly mysterious but zombification appears to have some sort of scientific rather than supernatural cause. The zombies of both Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland can apparently be fooled by acting like a zombie. In both cases zombies do not mess with zombies and human acting like a zombie can walk among the zombies safely. Bill Murray uses this trick to run around a zombie infested Hollywood. Shaun and his party use the fake zombie trick to temporarily get past a crowd of zombies. This is unlike the Romero zombies that have some sort of unerring instinct that allows them to tell if someone really is a zombie and cannot be fooled.
So which movie has better zombies? The zombies in Zombieland are scarier looking. The zombies in Shaun of the Dead are more interesting. In Shaun of the Dead we get a before and after look at the zombies. We see the zombies as humans the day before. The zombies in Shaun of the Dead are less generic and keep some of their human habits and this trait is later exploited by humans after Z-Day. The zombie kill of the day in Zombieland is also a lot of fun. This is a close one but I found the Shaun of the Dead zombies to be more entertaining.
Comedy
This is the most difficult category to compare since humor is largely subjective. Shaun of the Dead as a film set in Great Britain, with British actors, and produced in Great Britain and reflects British humor. Zombieland is pure US style humor. There is more “wit” in Shaun of the Dead. I mean by wit, carefully constructed dialogue that leads to humor. In general, Shaun of the Dead is the more carefully constructed screenplay. I have no doubt ten times more energy and time went into the Shaun of the Dead screen play than the Zombieland screenplay.
Shaun of the Dead includes situational humor, physical humor, and deadpan irony. Most of the humor in Zombieland is just situational humor and verbal put downs. The range of humor is much narrower in Zombieland than in Shaun of the Dead. Bill Murray does an extended cameo as himself. Bill Murray is one of my favorite comedians but I didn’t find him that funny in this film. Shaun of the Dead wins in the comedy area as well.
Conclusion
Shaun of the Dead is superior in the area of romance, zombies and comedy. Shaun of the Dead is the better Rom-Zom-Com!
4000 Islands is the name of a series of islands in the Mekong in Southern Laos. I sincerely doubt there are 4000 Islands. There biggest island is Don Det and this is where 80 percent of the tourists go and probably the best island to stay in the area. Don Khon is connected by a large bridge to Don Det and is within walking distance from Don Det. There are several guesthouses in Don Khong as well. You can probably bike the perimeter of the Don Det in two or three hours. The pathway around the island is pretty good in the area where the boats land but gets a lot rougher the further you get from this area. The scenic beauty is incredible and you are treated to a panoramic view of the river wherever you look. I was there in the first week of November and the temperature was just perfect. The best part was almost no mosquitoes. I cannot vouch for the rest of the year. I had arrived from a week of outdoor fun in Vang Vieng, also in Laos, and had been bitten by mosquitoes like crazy and was extremely pleased by the lack of mosquitoes. I think the lack of stagnant water in 4000 Islands keeps the mosquitoes away.
There are about a dozen family run guesthouses with bungalows and many double as restaurants that serve mediocre food. The tourist center can be described very briefly. There is a bakery shop run by an Australian, one good restaurant, called Josh, run by an Israeli that is about two weeks old, one upscale restaurant called East Eden and one good bar called the Pool Bar. As mentioned, there are lots of other restaurants but 90 percent of the people spend 90 percent of the time in those three places. There is one major footpath around the island but people generally walk back and forth between the places mentioned which are all within five minutes of each other. The Josh restaurant and the Pool Bar are actually next door. The East Eden place is two buildings down. The bakery is the only one that is not right next to everything else and its pretty close as well. Just past the bakery is the King Kong bar that is owned and managed by a former rock and roll celebrity from the nineties. I am not going to mention who he is since he is trying to get away from the limelight and is very sensitive about his former celebrity. If you are a big fan of rock and roll you will recognize him as soon as you walk into the King Kong Bar. You do East Eden for breakfast to watch the sunrise. You do the bakery during the day. You do Joshes for dinner. Josh kicks you out at 10pm. You then do the Pool Bar and the owner of the pool bar kicks you out at 12pm and then you go to the beach after that or go to bed.
There is a Robison Crusoe air to Don Det largely created by the lack of electricity most of the day. Between 6-10pm generators are turned on and there is electricity only for this period of the day. The rest of the time there is no electricity. The big news is that electricity is coming to Don Det in a couple of weeks. Most of the villagers are pretty happy about this. First of all, the gasoline to run the generators really adds up and the bill ends up being several times what the bill for 24/7 electricity via a power line would be. Many of the villagers do have satellite TV and the children seem to really enjoy watching TV between 6-10 pm and would like to watch more. The generators are not powerful enough for an air conditioner and bungalows have fans if that. East of Eden has the most upscale bungalows and I guess the owner does a good business since they are always full.
There are some even nicer bungalows under construction that will include air conditioning and hot water. There is a proper convenience store in the works and also a modern pizza joint that will open soon. These new places are timed to open around the same time Don Dent goes electric. While the villagers and the Western residents are generally behind electrification some of the guests I talked to had mixed feelings.
Some of the guests enjoy roughing it. The lack of electricity means very little television and people don’t stay in their bungalows and watch TV but actually go outside and socialize with villagers and other guests. Vang Vieng has TV restaurants which play Friends or Family Guy endlessly and many of the guests, like myself, came from Vang Vieng. Most Westerners have nothing but bad things to say about the TV restaurants in Vang Vieng even as they watch TV in these restaurants. You have traveled around the world to watch Friends?
The lack of TV forces guests to “get to know the people” in Dondet. This is an often touted goal of travel that is actually not so easy to do when traveling. The line between village life and the tourists in Dondet almost does not exist. As you sit having a meal in a guest house restaurant, you will find yourself playing with the local cats and dogs. Ducks and chickens are all over the place and they love a piece of your baguet. I fed one dog some meat from my plate and the dog started following me all over the place for about two days. If you stay five nights, like I did then you will soon be known by at least a dozen villagers and you will be greeted by them left and right. I wore a monster mask on Halloween and the kids loved the mask. We took turns wearing the mask and chasing each other. The Pool Bar has two kittens and sooner or later everyone who visits the Pool Bar ends up playing with the kittens. I felt transported to a simpler life I had never known before and have only seen on TV. The villagers obviously do not have a lot of money but I would say are happier than a lot of the visitors who are probably 100 times richer when it comes to money. The villagers literally raise their own food and know alot about wild greens you can pick from the countryside and generally have a salad of such greens as part of their meal. If the global system of commerce ever comes to a screeching halt, the villagers of Don Det will be just fine.
I did go on a tour of some of the smaller islands in the Mekong by boat and we literally fished for our dinner. The tour guide works for the Pool Bar and had gone ahead and brought some prime catfish as well and I think this might have been the best fish I have ever eaten. The trip which lasted around four hours and included being sitting in an inner tube and being towed back, a couple of beers, and some wild boar meat, was 50,000 kip which is all of six bucks! I ended up staying longer than I planned. I would like to visit Don Det again in a couple of years and see how the electrification process worked out. Will Don Det lose some of its rustic charm due to electrification?
In Don Det you can go tubing, kayaking, hiking, and biking. You can also see the largest waterfall by breadth in SE Asia nearby. There is also a smaller waterfall on Don Det proper. Finally, you can take a boat ride and explore the Mekong and see the Irrawady dolphins. Most of all you can just sit back in your hammock next to the Mekong with a good book and relax far from the modern world.
Prices are low in Don Det even by Laotian standards and Lao prices are pretty low to begin with. Laos is, for example cheaper than Thailand. Vientiane is cheaper than Bangkok. The Laotian countryside is cheaper than the Thai countryside. The big exceptions are imported goods. Laos is a landlocked country and just about anything imported will be cheaper in Bangkok than in Vientiane. What is cheaper in Laos than in Thailand is food and accommodations. You can get a bungalow for as low as 15,000 kip (1.7 USD ). The upscale bungalows with air con and hot water will run 60,000 kip (7 USD). A top of the line meal such as a large beef steak with plenty of fries will cost 30,000 kip (3.5 USD). OK maybe this will not be the best steak you have ever had but at that price who cares? You can get an excellent hamburger for the same price at Josh’s and the buns are made fresh at the Australian bakers. You aren’t going to starve thats for sure. A large bottle of Beer Lao is 10,000 kip a bottle or just about a buck.
Most visitors come from Thailand to Laos and I would suggest stocking up on Western books, suntan lotion, shaving gel, whatever in Thailand before coming to Laos. The selection of used books in Laos is downright dismal compared to Khaosang Road in Thailand and the prices are about the same. Actually Khaosang Road may be the best place for used Western books in Asia period so stock up on Western books there no matter where you are going in Asia. Sitting in your hammock and watching the Mekong flow is not a bad way to spend a relaxing afternoon.
One more hint! Bring plenty of money before coming to 4,000 Islands!
The nearest ATM machine is in Pakse two hours away. There is a bank on the about half and hour from Don Det but you will have to take a boat go to the village across the Mekong and then travel to the main road. The road connecting the village to the main road is pretty bad. You can also get an advance on you credit card from a couple of the local businesses for a 3% charge.
Kyle XY and Clark Kent of Smallville have a lot in common. They are both teenagers. They both have superpowers. They are both on prime time television. Clark fights Luthor Corp. Kyle fights Madacorp. Both have fatherhood issues. Kyle is a clone of a super scientist Adam Baylin and Kyle has to hunt his father down. Clark’s dad is Jor El and is dead due to the destruction of Krypton and Clark deals with a holograph of his dad rather than a living dad. Both have “normal” human parents that teach them lessons in humanity. Both have female versions with their powers that are slightly more powerful. Kyle’s clone companion, Jessi XX, was created later and is a more advanced clone model and has super strength unlike Kyle. Supergirl, Clark’s cousin, can fly while Clark cannot.
I would say there is a strong chance that the creators of Kyle XY saw the success of Smallville and decided to make their own teenage superhero. Clark of Smallville is very different from Superman of the comic books and movies. Clark is young and much less experienced than Superman. An episode of Smallville starring the Legion of Superheroes, from the 31st century, lets us know that Clark will become Superman but the Legion in general finds Clark less than impressive compared to the legend of Superman. Clark is still discovering new superpowers during the first three or four episodes. Heat vision turns out to be especially problematic in one episode. As of episode eight Clark cannot fly with any regularity. Clark isn’t even really Superboy. The silver age comic book Superboy would demolish the Smallville Clark. Clark will probably skip the Superboy phase in this version of the Superman story. Clark hasn’t even put on a costume but this may happen in the upcoming ninth season.
I think one of the keys to the success of Smallville is that the creators have taken a lot of the plot line from the Marvel superhero Spiderman and interjected that plot line into the Superman mythos with great success. The early Spiderman could be summarized as “insecure teenager becomes superhero” and this is what Clark is doing. Superman is a DC character and Marvel is their competition. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
One of the recurring plot line weaknesses of Superman is that Superman has been too powerful for interesting battles and/or adventures. Kryptonite was created by the Superman radio show in the thirties precisely to address this problem. In recent years Superman has been depowered and the current Superman is far less powerful than the silver age Superman.
The fans of comic books are largely male teenagers. Stan Lee, of Marvel comic books, figured out in the sixties that male teenagers might relate more to a hero that shared their insecurities like Spiderman. Marvel then really exploited the teenage superhero idea with the X-Men who are mostly teenagers and reside at the Xavier School for the Talented and Gifted rather than something like Superman’s Fortress of Solitude which is more a married with children man’s fantasy than a teenage guy fantasy.
Kyle XY premiered in 2006 and has a super brain. Kyle can detect mathematical patterns intuitively. In superpower speak this is some type of algorithmic pattern awareness. Kyle has photographic memory. Kyle excels at analyzing mathematical data but has high analytical skills in general and can excel in any scientific area. Overall, Kyle has super intelligence but due to not being raised by a family, but grown in a pod, lacked basic knowledge of human society and how people interact. The discrepancy between his analytical/mathematical intelligence and social knowledge was and is a major theme of the show.
Kyle can control his body and senses at superhuman levels. Kyle is like a super yogi. Kyle does not have a super body like Clark but due to his superior control of his nervous system can push his existing normal body to supernormal limits. This allows Kyle exceptional pain management. In particular, Kyle can increase his hearing but at a cost. Kyle becomes dizzy after pushing his body to superhuman levels and can even injure himself through over use of his super hearing.
Clark’s super hearing, on the other hand, does not involve any such price. Kyle also has photographic memory. Kyle’s photographic memory can tie directly into muscle memory and he can learn any kinesic skill upon watching someone perform this skill. If he watches a Bruce Lee movie then he will be able to perform any of the moves Bruce Lee demonstrated in that movie. In comic book circles this power is also referred to as photographic reflexes.
The Taskmaster is a major Marvel comic books super villain and only has this superpower and takes on the likes of Captain America. Kyle’s photographic reflexes are downplayed in his TV series and he has not gone the next logical step and mastered every martial art around to become some sort of super fighter. Instead Kyle tends to try to reason his way out of tough situations.
Kyle has something beyond photographic memory and this is called holographic memory. Kyle can search through his memories as though he was having the experience again. Kyle has super learning. Kyle learned how to talk in one day. Kyle has the mental equivalent of a firewall and can resist mind control. Kyle has limited telepathy. Kyle has limited telekinetic abilities that have two origins. The basis of his telekinetic abilities lie in his ability to change the polarity of his cells and attract or repel water. Kyle can also change the gravitational field around an object.
Kyle has an interesting way of drawing and basically draws like a dot matrix printer and makes a series of points, usually with crayons, that allow him to make pictures that resemble photographs in their clarity. This photographic drawing ability and photographic memory ability means he can make pictures of events and things he does not fully understand at the time and then figure out what is going on by looking at the picture and/or sharing the picture with others, generally his family, who can help him figure out the picture. Kyle is kind of the ultimate eye witness!
Kyle’s major weakness is his aforementioned lack of social experience and he can be easily manipulated by con artist types although his instincts about people are pretty good despite his lack of social experience and over time he is learning more and more about social interaction and norms. Kyle has all the physical weakness of any human. His super brain can overtax his all too human body. Kyle does not have a belly button due to being raised in a pod rather than a womb and his CAT scans show way too much activity but all in all Kyle is human and can pass for human more easily than Clark. Kyle can hide his superhuman nature via restraint. Clark is an alien and must avoid a physical examination at all costs to keep his powers secret.
Clark’s superpowers are much more well known than those of Kyle XY and are basically Superman’s but on a lower power scale and minus flight. Clark’s superpowers include invulnerability, super strength, super speed, heat ray vision, X-Ray vision, and super hearing, far beyond Kyle’s level and without the fatigue weakness. Clark is bright but does not appear to have super intelligence unlike many versions of Superman. Clark also cannot fly at this time.
Clark also has a strong sense of ethics that comes from being raised on a Kansas farm and generally knows what the right thing to do is and acts as a natural born leader to those around him including other superheroes, the Justice League, Green Arrow, the Legion of Superheroes, due to this strong sense of right and wrong. This is in contrast to Kyle who is still trying to figure out the subtleties of human morality and in particular the discrepancy between what humans say is moral and what they do.
Clark’s number one weakness is kryptonite. Green kryptonite can kill him. Red kryptonite turns him into a hedonistic psycho not necessarily a bad guy but more of a rebel without a cause on steroids. Green kryptonite is all over Smallville! The meteor showers that brought Clark to Smallville also apparently brought tons and tons of green kryptonite to Smallville. In just about all other versions of Superman, green kryptonite is super rare and bad guys go to the trouble of spending millions to synthesize the stuff because it is so rare. No need for a bad guy in the Smallville universe to spend a dime synthesizing kryptonite since the stuff apparently is just lying all over the place. This makes Clark relatively vulnerable compared to other versions of Superman. Still super speed and super senses mean that Clark can move faster than a speeding bullet including kryptonite bullets and hear the clicking of the chamber before the bullet is even fired.
Clark has fought Braniac, a super computer from his home planet Krypton. Braniac has super intelligence on a level that dwarfs Kyle. Clark’s number one enemy is Luthor, who in the Smallville version does not have super intelligence, unlike the Silver Age comic book version. The Smallville Luthor does have extreme cunning and access to the most advanced research labs in the world via Luthor Corp. Luthor does have access to the finest minds on Earth and knows how to manipulate people including scientists who may be smarter academically than Luthor but not as cunning as Luthor. A team of the finest minds with the best research capabilities on Earth might have a combined IQ that is greater and more dangerous than Kyle’s IQ. The contests between Luthor and Clark can be seen as contests between brain versus brawn to a great extent and Clark has always come out ahead.
Besides Luthor, Clark has gone up against a army of superpowered foes that are far more powerful than anything Kyle has gone up against so Clark has the experience edge. Green kryptonite can give humans superpowers and apparently every other teenager in Smallville has been exposed to green kryptonite and the green stuff also seems to make humans into psychos but this is debatable. So in a boring head on contest Clark would probably beat Kyle but the purpose of these posts is to entertain not bore!
The scenario, Luthor manipulates Kyle into thinking Clark is the vanguard of an alien invasion. This would be no problem for Luthor whatsoever since he has manipulated people far less naïve than Kyle. This event happens after season six when Luthor knows all of Clark’s secrets including his weakness to kryptonite and Kyle comes up with about a hundred fantastic weapon delivery systems to “stun” Clark with kryptonite despite Clark’s super speed and super senses. Luthor has lied to Kyle and told him that Kryptonite stuns rather than kills Kryptonians since Luthor realizes Kyle would never agree to kill anyone even an alien invader.
Kyle belatedly does an internet search about Luthor and realizes he has been had and that Luthor is a very, very bad person based on his business practices that are a matter of public record. Kyle then hacks into the files of Luthor Corp and realizes that Luthor is not just bad but evil! Kyle warns Clark of Luthor’s impending attack and together they attack Luthor Corp. Clark explains to Kyle that the best defense is a strong offense. Kyle attacks the computers of Luthor Corp. Clark attacks the muscle guarding the computers at Luthor Corp so Kyle can get to them. Clark is constantly breaking into Luthor Corp secret centers so this should be familiar territory for him. Even Madacorp has been firebombed by Kyle’s mentor. As stated, Clark has broken into Luthor Corp secret centers before even with Justice League members but never with someone like Kyle!
Kyle uses a terminal at the secret Luthor Corp lair to erase all data and I mean all data from all Luthor Corp’s computers including all financial data and Luthor is left with a company minus money and research data and Luthor Corp is all about data. Kyle doesn’t stop there and decides to leave Luthor Corp about a billion bucks in the red and exposes every crime, fraud and misplaced paper clip that Luthor corp was ever involved in to the Feds and the Daily Planet by emailing the pertinent records so Luthor ends up being chased by debt collectors and the law. Who knows which is worse?
Luthor Corp is destroyed but is Luthor? Luthor is cunning but not much without the resources of Luthor Corp or at least in the short range. Years later, Luthor is bankrupt and has served time in jail for fraud. Luthor even had to use all of his hidden cash in the Caymans, not on the Luthor Corp books, on lawyers and assasins to kill those who could have expose more serious crimes. His company, his money, his good name and his friends are all gone! Luthor is pan handling for booze on the streets of some third world hell hole where he is not recognized when he sees a picture of Kyle and Clark on the front page of the Daily Planet that some expat has thrown on the ground. It is of course raining! Rain drops and mud cover the newspaper but Luthor can still read the front page.
Apparently Clark and Kyle have started some sort of think tank charity to solve the problems of the world. Kyle comes up with the science while Clark does hero for hire jobs to pay for the research and implementation. Luthor raises his fists to the sky, throws the bottle of cheap local whisky he was drinking to the ground, breaking the bottle, and vows, “I will never be poor again”. “That which does not kill you only makes you stronger”, thinks Luthor. Of course the guy who originally wrote that died in an insane asylum. I like to say, “There are many things that will not kill you but can maim you for life in such a way that death would seem like a good thing”.
Luthor creates a new criminal organization that has a corporate structure but is more mafia than corporation and far deadlier and secretive than Luthor Corp ever was and the first thing on the agenda of this corporation is the destruction of Clark and Kyle. Luthor even manages to hire a lot of the more nefarious elements of Madacorp to work for his new organization. Thus a new series begins that combines the fan bases of both Kyle XY and Smallville and makes untold millions while I suffer the slings and arrows of middle class existence.
Today is a very special day, Mother’s Day in Thailand and also the birthday of Queen Sirikit. Queen Sirikit is widely beloved in Thailand and respected and admired throughout the world.
Her Majesty Queen Sirikit’s has supported over 350 projects and to enumerate all of them today would be impossible. Some of her Majesty’s most prominent projects are in the areas of the environment, handicrafts and public health.
Among her many environmental projects, the Queen has given patronage and her time to organizations such as the Association for the Conservation of Wildlife (ACW) and the Wildlife Fund of Thailand (WFT). But I think her most important insight was that she realized that deforestation threatened the livelihoods of needy people.
I would like to share some of her Majesty’s words on the subject of deforestation. On the eve of her 76th birthday she addressed the country from Dusit Palace. Her Majesty addressed the pressing issue of dwindling forests. The Queen said that forests help to store the ground water that gives life to watercourses, big and small.
“A forest is a water source,” Her Majesty said. “Think about fresh water – we can’t do without it. Our industries, our lives, need water,” the Queen said.
She noted that many experts predict the world will suffer a serious shortage of water within the next 15 years. As well as encouraging renewed forest protection, Her Majesty pleads for reforestation efforts.
Her environmental concerns extended to the Chao Phya River and mangroves, too. “The Chao Phya River used to be abundant,” Her Majesty recalls.
She hopes to see the river clean enough again to be a vibrant habitat for water life. Factories and farms must cease discharging effluent into the Chao Phya.
“Mangrove forests are important. Don’t destroy them,” she added.
The Queen has supported the traditional handicrafts of Thailand in many ways. The Queen has personally provided seed money for many for support groups and cooperatives that have promoted traditional handicrafts. Her projects in this area have improved the lives of rural females in Thailand tremendously.
The Queen has been active in the area of public health. The Queen is the President of the Thai Red Cross. She has held this a post since 1956. Her role in this area gained new prominence when she was active in coordinating disaster relief after the tsunami disaster in Southern Thailand.
Perhaps the Queens greatest contribution has been in the area of diplomacy. The Queen has worked tirelessly to promote tolerance and understanding for the Muslim minorities in Southern Thailand. Her quiet diplomacy in this area demonstrates a far reaching understanding of soft power long before soft power became a major theme in global circles.
In conclusion, the Queen has shown herself to be an invaluable resource for the people of Thailand, a person of foresight, and a true mother of all the people of Thailand.
Dr. Hugh Fox III 