Above is the label of an exciting new product and comments about the label and the product are welcomed and will be forwarded to the appropriate channels. Elitists around the world have long argued that the best beef in the world is Kobe beef. One of the distinctive characteristics of Kobe beef is that the cattle are feed apples and beer. The cows are also given daily massages!
This may be how Kobe Beef is made
Happy cows seem to be better tasting cows and Kobe beef sells for 500$ a kilo! The same people who brought you Kobe beef are now thinking of branching into lobster which will be branded as Kobe Lobster. Because of my blog, I was part of an exclusive focus group that tasted Kobe Lobster in a Japanese restaurant in Bangkok. The management of Kobe Lobster wanted to find out what trend setters around the world think of their new product and are presumably having similar focus groups around the world.
The lobster are currently being massaged on a daily level. The people at Kobe are not sure if this practice will continue since the lobster don’t seem to care for the massages and the lobsters have been known to take a nip at the fingers of the massagers with their claws.
The lobster are underwater in tanks so they cannot hear music but classical music is piped in via boom boxes that are pressed against the glass. Presumably, the vibrations make the lobsters happier and therefore better tasting lobster. The Kobe lobsters are also shown peaceful ocean video that presumably should make the lobsters feel more at home. A Kobe lobster is given about five times more space per tank than a normal lobster.
The Kobe people tried giving the lobsters beer and apples but this caused the lobsters to die! The Kobe people then hired a team of animal psychologists and marine biologists to find out what diet makes lobsters happy and to answer the deeper question, “What makes a lobster happy?” I did ask what diet makes lobsters happy and I was told that this is a trade secret.
I have to admit the lobster that I ate was very tasty. I am not sure if Kobe lobster is tastier than normal lobster but it was tasty. It takes about 500 dollars to raise a single lobster the “Kobe way” and this is reflected in the price. Kobe lobster will not be sold by the pound like other lobster but by the lobster. A single Kobe lobster will run you 1,000 dollars if and when this product hits the market! Kobe lobster’s are guaranteed to be at least ten pounds so the lobster is only 100 dollars a pound which is far less than the cost of Kobe beef! My own free meal was contingent on my writing an article about Kobe Lobster on my blog which I have done here.
I enjoyed the whole experience but later started to wonder if this is the best use of the Earth’s resources? Wouldn’t the 500 dollars being spent to make happier lobsters be better spent on making happier people or better yet less starving people?
You can also download my autobiography of my struggle with a bipolar condition on Am I Kitsune on my Google Drive.
WereVerse Universe Baby!
Google Drive Link: WereVerse Universe
That was hilarious!
I enjoyed reaading your post
I think its funny. I am surprised know one has come up with Kobe Lobster yet. Kobe Lobster is fictional of course for now. You know this might be a good premise for a TV show. The lives and love lives of workers at Kobe Lobster Holllywood!