What if Date 3: Charlotte of “Sex and the City” dates George of “Seinfeld”.

Charlotte (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlotte_York) is set up for a blind date with George Costanza (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Costanza) by Elaine Benes of Seinfeld (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elaine_Benes).  George tells Charlotte that he will be wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap and a green jacket.  Charlotte spots George a block away and is shocked to see that George is so fat.  Charlotte calls George and explains how her cat has died, she has the flu, was in a car accident, whatever, and won’t be on their date or any date for quite a while.


Fast forward to fifty years in the future, George is on his death bed.  George became obsessed with figuring out who the heck Carrie was after Seinfeld died.  Charlotte was in Paris training Bulgarian gals how to be high class mistresses, not hookers, during the flood.  As Charlotte likes to tell her girls, “Any girl can give great sex but great sex and great manners and culture makes you the mistress not just another girlfriend.  Elaine has changed a lot since her younger days.  

She is thrice divorced is quite wealthy due to her divorce settlements and even wealthier due to her particular type of “charm” school. Charlotte now considers love to be a weakness that should be exploited by women since men are total jerks.  She arrives at the last minute.  Charlotte has heard about how George has been trying to find out about Carrie through mutual third parties.  Charlotte feels guilty about the blind date and figure she can now erase that particular sin. 

Charlotte tells George the whole convoluted story as she heard it from Carrie before she died.  George asks Charlotte if she will grant a dying man a final request. Elaine agrees.  George asks for a kiss.  Charlotte slaps George and storms out of the apartment.  George dies and goes to a special limbo for neurotics who aren’t really evil but will drive the rest of the inhabitant’s nuts if allowed into heaven eternally.

WereVerse Universe Baby!

Leave a Reply