Academics are what get you beat up when you are in high school and what make you the boss when you finish college.
Acquisitions are the things we spend our whole life accumulating so they can be sold for 50 cents at a garage sale when we die.
Action causes reaction that causes action and so forth and so forth.
Addictions are the pleasures of the few. The pleasures of the many are called entertainment.
Affairs should be like bank robberies, be ready to use muscle and have a getaway car ready.
Age – Old age is hell.
Akashic records are the big records in the sky.
Ambition has led to the ruin of many a good fool.
Appearance is the cover of the book and covers do sell books.
Applied skills are skills that you get paid for.
Art critics create art not artists.
Atheism is a religion minus god.
Beauty – A beautiful face often hides a beautiful soul
Beauty – Being beautiful is good luck when you are young and bad luck when you are old.
Books – What is between the covers of a book is determined by what is between our ears.
Brothers are the guys that you beat up growing up or beat you up growing up.
Career is what you call a job you have more than three years.
Ceremonies – All ceremonies have the ultimate purpose of making us forget that we are going to die.
Children are the revenge of our parents.
Clumsiness – His left foot doesn’t know what his right foot is doing.
Code – Sure I believe in a code. I’ve got half a dozen area codes committed to memory
Collective consciousness is individual consciousness minus discipline, accuracy and sense.
Combat – Always bring a knife to a fistfight.
Common sense is uncommon.
Coworkers like children are best seen and not heard.
Cross-cultural contact is quite a cross to bear.
Daily existence means brushing your teeth and shaving. Once you stop doing either then you have transcended daily existence.
Diamonds are forever but you are not!
Divorce is war by other means.
Doubt is doubtful.
Early environment is what we pass on to our kids.
Experience leads to wrinkles.
False praise can buy goods and services that dollars cannot.
Fame attracts both babes and stalkers.
Fear – Being feared is better than being afraid.
Flowers from the park are cheaper than flowers from the flower shop.
Foreign culture is what our culture is to foreigners.
Free speech requires a very large advertising budget.
Friends – Choose your friends carefully. Choose your enemies more carefully.
Genius – A creative genius is a madman that has been successful.
Giving is better than receiving but only in a fistfight.
Gossip is best spread Friday afternoon so it can fester over the weekend.
Guilt may interfere with the pursuit of pleasure but rarely stops the pursuit of pleasure
Hatred is frustration with a target.
Heroes are the ones who get the medals.
Home is where your parents live.
Honor – The phrase death before dishonor is a suicide note.
Honor is the pride of a superior man.
Hope was left in Pandora’s box because the gods abhor suicide.
Household items are the items missing from the house of a bachelor.
Humor is a short circuit of the wetware.
Hygiene is for cats not men.
Inspiration is 90 percent BO.
Knowledge is a temporary state of affairs.
Lies – One big lie is better than many little lies.
Lies – A lie is best told with a bored expression.
Lies – When surrounded by liars tell the truth it drives the liars crazy.
Loneliness forces “I” to meet “me”.
Love – True love is always tinged with fear.
Love – Money can get you through times of no love much better than love can get you through times of no money.
Mannerisms are you personal set of ticks.
Manners were invented to stop the lower classes from marrying into the upper classes.
Marriage is a zero sum game.
Metaphysics is the union of physics and psychology.
Methodology – A detailed methodology is an obsolete methodology because by the time you figure out the details there’s another problem altogether on your desk.
Military – A good general knows when to act. A great general knows when not to act.
Money should be spent before it disappears.
Mortality – Always death is in the back of our mind.
Mortality – There are three routes to immortality: progeny, history, and the afterlife. The first route is doubtful. The second route is nearly impossible. The third route may be a fairy tale.
Motherhood is by far the most common form of self-torture among women.
Movies have soundtracks unlike life.
Music hath charms that inflame the savage beast.
Mysterious is sexy until you meet the other guy.
Nature – In nature we are bigger than squirrels but smaller than bears.
Networking requires work and a net.
New year is special because it only happens once a year.
Night is the day minus the sun.
No two in a movie theatre are watching the same movie.
Now is what happens then.
Nutrition – Beer is the most important food group.
Opportunity generally knocks when we are in the shower.
Organization – Organized religion is about the organization first and religion second.
Parents are guilt incarnate.
Past – The past is changed all the time.
Personality generally beats intelligence.
Pets are generally small because small animals can’t eat us.
Politics is power by another name.
Prayer is best done before you go to sleep.
Problems – My fundamental problem is that I read too many comic books as a kid and too many books as adult.
Publishing is the lottery for intellectuals.
Rebirth – Rebirth involves labor pains.
Religion is the second rate opiate for the masses. The elite gets philosophy that is the good stuff.
Renewal is doing something new again.
Revenge – No matter how powerful or rich any person, organization or group is that injures you, there is always an enemy of that person, organization or group that is even more powerful and rich that will be more than happy to help you get revenge!
Reputation is what you had before happy hour.
Retreats are where you are able to tell your boss they suck under the disguise of constructive criticism.
Risk-taking gets you high, sometimes as high as heaven after you go splat.
Romance is sex between animals with frontal lobes.
Secrets are best hidden in plain sight.
Service people are people too.
Sex – You can buy sex but you can’t buy love. One out of two aint bad!
Soldiers can fight soldiers. Soldiers can’t fight history.
Strength is being able to tear up the telephone book. Intelligence is being able to read the telephone book.
Taxes – Death is the great unknown. Taxes are the great known.
Technology is logic plus some metal.
Television is the one eyed god.
Temperament is hormones by another name
The fundamental basis of all law is a desire for vengeance.
The subconscious mind is what you really think.
Travel broadens the mind and thins the wallet.
Universe – The Universe is a big place only if you read and/or travel.
Vanity requires a mirror.
Visualizations are hallucinations brought about via concentration rather than drugs.
Wills – People who count on wills also believe in Santa Claus.
Women also have two brains but their second brain is smarter than a man’s second brain.
Writers – People become psychologists because they suspect they are mad. People become writers because they know they are mad and think their condition would make a great story!
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